Tuesday, December 29, 2015

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with Jimmi Simpson--Because He's Adorable--Wonderfully Strange--& So Perfectly Comfortable With It All--For You My Hopeful Survivors

CeeLo Green - F---- YOU (Official Video)--RATED PG13 / R--DUE TO LANGUAGE--To Those Who Need A Few Swear Worlds To Tell The World You're A Hopeful Survivor--This Is For Us

My Heroes--Warriors Of Recovery--Part 5--Mental Illness--Addiction--Recovery--Special Needs--Disabilities--Who I Live This Lifeg For--& The Reason They Keep Me Sane While I'm Off--&--On My Blog

Permanent.

To be without change
without difference
constant
never ending.

I wrote this in Aug...
and so it goes 
that all things MUST change.
for it's the only constant
the only 
hope
the only piece 
of what we have 
to offer
that stays ever
true.

Us. 
We.
We are the constant
the edge the change
shall ride upon
the winds that rage 
& rip through us
that can never truly
diminish what we've 
become.

I sit here
a different person
for sure.
Weaker in many
respects.
And I proudly say
stronger in 
others.
And 
I even proudly tell you
that my weakness
my courage 
in it
is who I am
who I have become.

Because 
this fragile life 
around us
so delicately draped 
is an armor
a shield
a protective cover
of night
that 
not even the harshest
lights
can destroy.

It's a path
a walkway
a stone 
pebble covered
village 
country stroll.
A quiet stream
leading to the ever
bigger sea
one we will someday all 
be
together.

But for now
these Warriors
who walk beside me
who walk MY path now
who no longer 
simply walk behind
but
lead the way
they guide me
as I guide them.
They walk point
when I should have
done it for them
They clear the path ahead
&
give me the all clear
that its safe
that they have 
cleared the way.

These Warriors 
who walked in front 
for so long
who still take the lead
when they are called.
These 
newest ones
these Warriors
in the 
making
before my eyes
have become more than I ever dreamed.
They have morphed into
a graceful
powerful machine
capable
confident
sure
in part
I know
because of who
they've always
had to
be
long before
this particular
tour
began.

I know
this world
will now be
in good hands
because the fires
of hell can
forge a weapon
of steel
that can't
be bent
&
it can
destroy
what ever good
that was left.

But it's the Warriors
the ones that walk
through the flames
&
reach for you
THESE
are
My Heroes
Warriors
Of
Recovery.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Santana and Rob Thomas Perform Smooth Live--What I Listen To At Home & In The Car(& Live When Rob Thomas Played Here In Phx Summer 2014)When I'm Not On My Blog

We saw Rob Thomas live here in Phx AZ this summer--Perfect in every way. An almost Spiritual Experience. #Blessed I'll post some pics soon here on my Blog--Always like to share what our world looks like with you.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Enjoying The Rain--How I Live Life As A Hopeful Survivor When I Am Off--&--On My Blog

As many know--I deal with a well organized storm of chaos many days--& Nights.
Many times here at 2-3 in the morning--Never quite making it to bed.

That is the Real Life me--A never stopping storm chaser--Always looking--Almost waiting--In hopes of another successful attempt to harness the wild that lives around me--Maybe knowing I may never really harness it inside.

And so--This is when you will see me, most nights--Or very early days--Depending on how you choose to calculate the value of day & star light.

In front of you--In my Virtual Life--Sorting through what's left of a tornado of who & what I am--What I've learned--Who I'm grateful to bring with me through one more storm.

My Offline Life has taken unexpected turns--Like a freaky CGI stunt--Cascading across the sky--The screen too dull to show you the colors that are really there--Seemingly painting the sky black.

But I sit here--The roads & paths uncertain--In many ways more than I imagined--In some a blessed silver lining in a sky I hardly recognize anymore--& This too gives me hope.

Because this is what you will see the most of here--Hope. Freedom from our own perceived losses. The balls to keep standing--Even when our bodies won't let us--& Our Souls have nearly given up--& Our minds so far gone we can't imagine a life any other way.

We--My Off Line world--The ones I live with--Live for--Live through--We are simply examples of that in it's purest form....That it's just plain old not giving up--This is the key--The one that open the doors to safety--As you run screaming from the howling winds of change--This really is all courage looks like--Simply not giving up.

So yes--You will see me in my Virtual Life with you--Basking in the blistering rain--Soaked in the life around me--Holding close to me who I really am--The skies roaring it's newest last warning--As I stand in it all--Face to the sky--& I tell you how beautiful it all is.

Because--For me--This is how I survive it--The floods--& The storms that rattle my rib cage--Excitement in my gut--Not fear--But simply the will to keep walking on--Because that's all this life we share really is--A downpour from above--Trying to learn to swim--& If we're lucky--We'll discover water wings to help us float until then.

So I figure if I'm going to get wet eventually anyway--I might as well enjoy the rain.

Friday, December 11, 2015

(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 3

MOVE EM ON
(HEAD EM UP!)

CUT EM OUT
(RIDE EM IN!)

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN

BARK!
(CONE DROPS & CRACKS)

NO MORE
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 2

KEEP MOVIN, MOVIN, MOVIN
THO THE VET'S A DISAPPROVIN 
KEEP THEM CONES A MOVIN
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND EM
JUST CHASE & SPIN & TRIP EM
SOON WE'LL BE DRIVIN CITY WIDE

MY HEARTS CALCULATIN
MY HUMOM WILL BE WAITIN
WAITING AT THE END OF THIS
CRAZY RIDE

MOVE EM ON
(HEAD EM UP!)

CUT EM OUT
(RIDE EM IN!)

BARK!
(CONE DROPS & CRACKS)



(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 1--Based On "Rawhide"--& My Cover "Fake Rawhide Chew Toys"--For J(You Know Why)

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
KEEP THAT VET A STROLLIN
KEEP THAT CONE A ROLLIN
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

RAIN BOOTIES & WIND BREAKERS & WINTER WEATHER
TRYIN TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS TETHER
WISHING THAT MY HUMOM WAS BY MY SIDE

ALL MY STUFF I'M MISSING
DOG TREATS, SNUGGLES, & NO CATS A HISSIN
ARE WAITING AT THE END OF
MY CAR RIDE

MOVE EM ON
(HEAD EM UP!)
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!



Saturday, September 26, 2015

Storms--AZ Rains Series---Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Sereis(AZ Rains--Wings--Roses--Black--Reflection Sereis)

The rain in my head.
That's the funny part.
I see him
wherever I am.
In my sleep
In my path
in the stars above me.
He's still there.

The sky
opens up to me
&
it lets me see him here with me
again.
So many fear it
the storms that ravage the Earth.
But what they don't know
what they don't hear
Is him.

They only see the fear
the rage.
The tearing of the sky above them.
They don't see the Life
that crawls out
from under.
From the
scrub brush at their feet.
As if
only Life they can identify
deserves to survive.

Oh.
But that's not us
is it.
We see.
We see it all.
The
sounds of the air
ripping through our sky.
The textures of the sky
as the colors change
the clouds that feed us
open their arms ound us
&
welcome us home.

This.
This is what I know.
What I live for.
What keeps me
alive.
These Storms.
Your Face.
Your Touch.
Your Breath in mine.




Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Free--AZ Rains Series--Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Series

Dance in the rain with me.
Meet outside my door.
Splash in the puddles 
tell me I'm the only one.

Race me to the edge.
Show me the way.
Chase me like you do.

Feel me standing here
close to you.
They way I do you.
Let me feel your body heat
close to mine.
Don't let me shiver
or feel the cold.

Show me how to be free.



Always--AZ Rains--Angles, Gaurdians, & SoulMates Series---Recovery/Addiction/Mental Health/Chronic Illness---Loss/Grief/OTRB---Hope & Survivors Series

This.
This is what
has become of you.


A tiny grain of Truth.
A tiny
shred
of Hope.
Of memory.

I don't want to see you
this way.
A far away look
a glance over my shoulder.
A distance
not
traveled anymore.

I do see you still.
In this Mirror
of translucence.
I see you
your mouth
as you never speak to me.
Your eyes
as you never look away from me.
You face
as you tilt your head
just right
& you see me too clearly.

I hope I never forget you.
My tiny grain of Truth.
My Sanctuary.
My
Sanctum
Sanctorum.
My
reason for the Rain.

I look back
&
I recall the desperate need for you
&
I wonder
if this feeling now
is the right one
the ability to live without you.
Or if it is
wrong
to miss the unfiltered high
I knew when all I had was you.

To visit that Time
to Love you as I do
this shall remain the same.
But to crave you.
To withdrawal so violently
without you in me.
Maybe this
is one of those things
that shall also pass.

Is it wrong
to miss what I no longer need.
Or is wrong
that I no longer need you.
I'm not sure.
I may never be.
But I know
that what I have with you
is still real.
Still pure.
Then or now.
In my system 
as my only way to breath.
Or my precious
Memories.
I know
I will
always
have
you.


My Past
as solidly held
in my hand
as the days you were here.
No Separation of Time
or of Place
will ever
truly
take
me
away from
you.







Thursday, September 17, 2015

A Little While--Reflection / Black Series----Warriors--Recovery--Hope & Survivors

The Duel



I rarely
if
ever
name the things
I'm about to say.
I have
only
a well know presence
in my Mind's Eye
that I know
will pursue me
until
I can be rid of him
&
put him here
on paper.




But this.
This One is different
It's who I
Really Am.
&
It is not
so easily persuaded
to
leave.



As I sit here
I know
that
what I say
what I know
about me
about what
I Really Am.
Is not something
I can
take back.
Something
that can be
undone
unsaid.
Untrue.



So
why do I
say it.
Why try.
Why pursue
something that I know
will only
be
a part of me
no matter
what I do.
Whether I admit
it to you.
Or I take it
with me
as I go on
with who
I've always
really
been.



I don't know.
Maybe
to feel that
no matter
what
we are.
No matter
who we are
not who
we've become.
Will
still be able
to enter the Light.


Be able to
feel
the warmth.
&
not
have to feel
the shame.
Even for
a
little
while.





Wednesday, September 16, 2015

How We Move--Relection/ Black Series----Musicians--Artists--Writers--Poets--Actors--Hope & Survivors

Heights.
The
undefinable
unfathomable depths.
They used to
lay before
me.
Lay just beneath
me
A distance
in the depths
of my hated
fears.

And
as I look beyond
them
now.
And
I see
the depths
of my own
inability
to fathom
myself.
My own
inability to
resist
the easy call
of weakness.
Of
unforgiveness.
Of simple
fear
of failure.

That
one moment
in Time
where all things
join
together
come towards you
&
you know
it's for you to decide.
For you
to forsake your own
Will.
And simply
Be.
Whatever that my
be.

Oh
to simply be.
To understand that
all Life
all
Death.
All
things.
Are never really
in our control
at
all.
That
we are only
translucent....
things.
Transparent
&
sheer.
A
syphon
for all things
we can
never
truly
understand.

And't
it's in those
Moments.
In those seconds
that
tick by.
We see.
We finally....
see.
That this Life
Isn't
a
Blessing
or
a
Curse.
It's
merely
an Illusion.
A
Myth in the
making.

What
Parts we play.
What
voices we carry.
What
story we
someday
tell.
Is
simply
the foreshadowed
end.

How....
Ah.
How.
Now
how we tell
our
Story.
This.
This is what
we all wait for.
The climatic
end.
The crescendoed
orchestrated
vibration
that runs it's course
through
our
Lives.

This
is what I
now
hear.
The
beautiful
strings
on which
all life
is
echoed.

And
I see now
that
no matter
the Song
It is
how
we move
to that
silent
music
Is all
that
really
mattered.




Monday, September 14, 2015

You--Reflection / Black Series

The Surface
underneath.
This.
This is where
I Live.

The locals
who dwell
here.
They think
they know me.
Have seen me.
Think
 this entitles them
to my
Name.



Ah
but they don't
know.
Don't understand
that
in this Place
a Story
only grows.
A Masquerade
of sorts.
A sustained
wound.
A Healing
that which
can never
be found.


This.
This is what
keeps me
here.

This break
in the fault line
this
caress
of my Soul.
a feathers
touch.
That
those sweet
echoing
moments.
Are
really of
you....



So
I dwell here
you see.
A
symphony
of 
Delusions.
A
Catastrophe
of proportions
only
 you & I
can
see.



The calling
of your
name.
The unending
Song
of
sweet
Remorse.
Your gentle
touch.
Your breath
on
my face.


These reminders
of
you.
These
Moments.
Stolen.
Encased in
an
amber & crimson
tide.
Those colors
that
will always
be of
you.


These things
keep me
here.
Enshrined.
A
Sacrifice
to
Once
Was.
My only
Breath.
My only
Life.


You.




   


His Redemption--Protector/Redemption--Part 2--Reflection / Black Series------Black Series--The Unified Spirit Of AZ Rains--Wings--Roses Series----Reflection Series--A New Series Within Black Series

All He Is
She asks.
A Vision of Hope.
A lingering putrid smell
in her Heart
as she remembers a Time
where he once was
& she was no more.

Only.
He says this.
As if it must be
Truth.
As if
all he sees
are the scars that
cross his face
when he remembers
who I am.

You see
he knows me
not
from this Place.
In the mists
of
Memory.
But
from a Moment
so long ago
I refuse to see it
clearly.
To see me
when I can't
see him.

He knows me
aches
in my Soul.
Cramps
that refuse to
heal.
Heart beats
that refuse to surface.
If only
for a little while.

Then.
It is then
that I realize.
That I know
who I am.
That I see this
unexpected
reflection of me.
In a window.
In a Crystal
I wear near my Heart
that seems to beat
for it.
As if
on it's own
even my body
betrays me.
Refuses to function
without you near.

It's then I see.
The You
Reflected
In
Me.


 


Sunday, September 13, 2015

My Only Way Home--Black Series

The Moon Light
struck his Soul just right.
The refection
blinding me to what
I can't see anyway.

The Street Lamps
they flicker
a reminder of when
you used to be.
When you were
only you.
When you
didn't carry me
with you
too.

The Creatures Above Us
do you hear them.
They call for you
their leader
mentor
friend.

The Stone Building
in front of us
always a sign
a road map
a beacon.
Leading us here
where you'll always
be.

Your Wings
wrapped around you
almost lucid
transform
you.
Those Symbols
of inequity
that wrap my mind
around
you.

Bring Me Here
once again
you say.
As if you think
it's me
&
not you
that brings us
here.
A warped sense
of
Time
&
what he does
to me
when I'm
with
you..


Oh
but you say.
It is
you.
The Guardians
that Save us
bring you here
to me.
Because they
know
it's the only way
I find myself
in this
Darkness.

Because
they know
you're my only
way
Home.





Wednesday, September 9, 2015

In The Key Of You--Black Series--Musicians--Eternal Love--Paranormal

Crimson Tides
Flow in tune
A Melody
Of You.

Skies Above Me
Sing 
Your Praises
Waves
Of Reds
& Blues.

Shore Lines
Soak up the Life
You give 
Them
Flowing
It back into
You.

All That Surrounds
Me now
Sing your 
Praises
A constant
Melody
All spoken
In the 
Key
Of 
You.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Her Protector--Protector/Redemption Part 1--Reflection / Black Series-----Reflection Series--A Series Within A Series

Above A Tortured Sky
Wings of a Creature 
Circle by.

A Soul
Unlike the rest
He filters through
Retreating rarely
To his
Nest.

Looking Down
Toward 
All he Guards
Faith 
In what he
Hopes to see
A Vision 
In white
Her Protector
Is 
All
He'll ever
Be.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Home--Black Series

The Blood Red Moon
Sits 
In a crimson 
Sky.

Because 
He 
Reminds me 
Of you.

The Starless
Cloudless 
Sky
Sparkles 
Above me.

Only 
Because 
Of 
You.

The Light 
Shines Eternal
In your 
Eyes.


A guiding 
Beacon.

Showing me
The way
Home.

Forever
With you.


Monday, August 24, 2015

Reminders Of You--Black Series--The Unified Spirits Of AZ Rains, Wings, & Roses Series Of The Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Series

Golden Light
Shown from above
His calling card
As I now know
Him. 

A Brief Sigh
From my lips
As I feel
The air around me
Change.

The Subtle Shift
As Time
Caresses my Soul
And 
I know he's
Here.

The Warm Cleansing Rain
That falls 
Around me
Flows at my feet
The echo
Of  your arrival
Still in my
Ears.

Your Precious Velvet Rose
At my
Fingertips
The 
Thorns 
That bite me
All
Reminders 
Of 
You. 

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Why You'll Find My Poetry Blog Featured In Our ReLi Arts Etsy Shop--When I Create Wearable Art I'm Still 'On My Blog'--Part 2

You'll see the steady Influence of this Blog, you're on now--When you visit us in our ReLi Arts Shop on Etsy.com--& Social Media Sites we like to hang out on.

The Titles of each Listing gives you a good reference to why you may recognize many Items--Because they are Physically Tangible ways to express the things in my Blog you've grown used to reading & seeing over the last year we've--You & I-- been Online together. 

I've found a way to continue to Create--To use that to continue to lead the way Forward for the Ones I Walk Point For...

And literally carry with me--A Piece Of The Souls I Love.

Which is why--You will see "By Re" or "By Li"--So you know Who put a Piece Of Themselves into what you bought--Knowing it's Real People that made that Moment exist.

 Why I Credit "Peg" with backing us--As we Follow A Dream.

And why you'll find 'off beat', 'nontraditional' Items you're not likely to find everywhere.....

Because that's Who & What We Are--Survivors...Letting The Freak Flag Fly....

So, maybe you'll see Something here, that makes you feel relief that you're Not Alone...

&Then you'll stop by & See us in our Store--& You see that little Something that reminds you, that you were right--That you're Really Not Alone.

And I'll Honored to be A Part Of That....

That Moment--When we Discover--There's a A Little Bit Of Freak in all of us.....

& It really is OK to Wear It Proudly.

Hope to see you There.

etsy.com/shop/ReLiArts 

How My Personal Poetry Blog Infuences What I Make On Our ReLi Arts Etsy Shop--When I Create Wearable Art I'm Still 'On My Blog'--Part 1

Thank You to ALL of the wonderful Folks who read my Personal Blog----

I got started doing Online Pawties--& Social Circles Involving & Promoting Animal Rights--Shelters & Rescues--Pet Parenting--& Grief Support...

I was accepted into--& Mentored by--A large International Loosely & Tightly Knit Group Of People--& As I learned the ropes--I Discovered that Online is very much like Offline--There  are Folks who genuinely want you to Succed--& People  who only feel comfortable with your presence if you comply with their ridgid rules of  behaviors & expectations.

The real Key was to recognize & accept that--Grow as a Social Person Who Isn't Always Comfortable In Social Situations...& Recognize When The People Around You Really Are Actually Toxic.

I've always Written, Drawn, Pondered Meaning In My Head--& Those familiar with my Blog, See the progression of more than a year of an esencially Public Display of that....That I'm failable-That I fall--I bleed-I...Suffer losses...& I likely cause some as well.

But, This is why we are here isn't it--To join with other People who understand us--To view the Failures of others-To try to find Reason--Meaning--Acceptance--Even if only--& Maybe especially--From Ourselves.

So--I continued to Explore--Recount--Wallow--Bath In My Past--& Find Mind Searing Peace...& Discoved Other Writers Online--& People Who 'Get It'.

Fast forward to almost a year ago--& We are finally found Online--On a little Shop--Selling stuff we've enjoyed making in our own living room for 3 Generations now's full filling a Promise to each other made over a decade ago--That we would find a way to Support ourselves, to grow, make Progress, no matter what.

You'll see a lot of those Changes--Challenges--& Motivating Moments here--"On My Blog" Posts--& In the Poems & Series/Short Stories--That are mostky--If not all's Autobiographies & Biographies From My Perspective--Thinly veiled Personal Mements In Time--With a dash of Faith--& A Beautiful Sprinkling of Hope......



Shadows--Black Series

Cold Dark Hands
Under the cover
Of darkness
Think not
To warm themselves
But 
To simply wait.

For My Arrival
You say
Makes the sting
Of loneliness
A pleasant thing
A moment cherished.

To Rest Your Soul
In mine
To breath the air
Of the living
Is to bring 
Light
To shadows
In the dark.



Friday, August 14, 2015

Only You--Black Series

Color Burst
Across my eyes
My Sky
A pyrotechnic
Swirl.

Your 
Fading Darkness
Resumes
As night
Falls
And 
My Day 
Begins.

The Sounds
Of
My World
Fading 
From view
As 
I
Consume
Only
You.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Set Me Free-Black Series

The Black Shadows
That hide your 
Face.

The Temptation
That Shadows
Mine.

These 
Quite Moments
That steal 
My Dreams
Feed
My Illusions.

You Come To Me
To my Depths
In my 
Barest Form
And
You Encase me.

Like A Creature
Outside of my Shell
I Wait
This
Inevitable Change
Always near. 

For 
Your Mouth 
Upon me
Your Distance 
No more.

I Seek 
Truth
Your Illusions 
Set 
Me Free.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 4--Hope & Survivors

And so--It seems all Expectation Of Hope becomes Fleeting--A Far Gone Illustion--A Thing Other People Own....

But here's the thing--I was never Made That Way--Defeat made me Angry--Being Brushed Aside made me realize I was Alone--Being Talked Down To & Dismissed only made me Understand it was time to Move On...

But This Particular Kind Of Rejection--This Basest Of Digs--It hits in a Places that literally IS Who You Are. It doesnt matter if it's You or Your Loved One--The Pain & Disillutionment is the Same.

In fact--For Some it's the Ones We Love--Their Pain--Their Hope--Their Beautiful Smiles that make all the Other Shit seem Worth It....It's when we see that smile fade--See that Moment of Reality hit---Know the World doesn't See them the way we do--That Changes Who We Are Permenently....

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 3--Hope & Survivors

And so then, I go on to think of the Moments in my own Experiences with Illness--My own Weakest Moments--& Those of my own Loved Ones, as I stand beside them--& I realise what it looked like on the Outside Looking In... & The sheer Disconnection I felt looking from the Inside Out--Watching Those Who Should Have Championed An Innocent, slowly remove themselves, absolving themselves of Guilt Of Imperfection By Association.

I Remember in vivid, mind numbing techno color, the Looks Of Fear...These are the Looks I remember most--& The Looks Of Consdisention--The Ones that said 'I don't Belive you' You didn't Do it right' 'You didn't Try hard enough'....

' I can't do this with you--I won't'......






My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 2--Hope & Survivors

When you look at me, writing here with you--Or a Casual Friend in person or on online--& You say to yourself 'How can they be this sick if they're always online?' 'How "sick"(eye roll) can their Loved One be if I see them acting & looking just fine to me?'.

And so goes the Endless Battles with the Outside World--The World these Warriors must Live & Survive In, outside of their Own Mind--& Their Own Home. 

'How bad can it be? I had that, & I didn't complain this much' 'Not again--This Drama Queen Act has got to stop' .....

'Move on already'.

I imagine, over the years, the people I've know, where I've said these things--When I've looked out from my relatively Healthy Body--& Been blind--My Soul & Mind somehow not comprehending what it can't conceive of--& How they must have felt Shock--Disappointment--Fear--As they realize someone they thought they Knew-Never really Understood them at all....


Monday, August 10, 2015

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 1--Hope & Survivors-Chronic Illness-Mental Illness-Trama-PTSD-Recovery-Addiction

Chronic Illness--Mental Illness--Trama--PTSD--Recovery--Addiction.....
These Warriors Of Recovery--These Battles Fought, Sometimes Won, Sometimes Lost-----

THESE are my Heros.

Why? 
Because they fight Silent Killers. Because these Assassins Of The Soul, lay in silence, waiting for a Moment Of Weakness. Prey on the Innocent. Disguise themselves as any Normal Moment--& Cleverly insinuate their way into those Warriors lives....And the most crule of all--They are Masters Of Manipulation--Convincing the People around these Warriors, that they are nothing more than a Passing Traveler--A Passing Phase.

Those People Who Should Go To Battle for these Warriors, are instead led to dismiss what they see. To ignore the Signs. Create False Perceptions of Those Who Are Slowly Losing The Battle.....


Thursday, August 6, 2015

Empty Space--Black Series

The Moon 
Is my Sky.
For in it
Lies your Path.
The Traces 
Of you
Streaked across
A Sunless 
Crimson Sky.

The Stars 
Are your 
Eyes
Pierced 
Against 
My
Sight.

The Comets
Your Ego
Fleeting
In it's Path 
To me.
For 
Your Will
Is Ever Mine
A Sea
Of Destiny.

The Seemingly 
Empty Space
Dark 
Matter
They say.
Oh
But 
We both Know
Is always Filled
With You.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Voices In My Head--Poets--Writters--Musicians--Warriors--Recovery--Hope & Survivors--And Sometimes Dragons Too

These voices in my head
Are silent once more
But should they
Must they 
Be.

Because 
It's not normal
They say
Because one of you
Should only 
Take resistance
There.

Oh
But they don't know
Do they
That we already 
Live here
Always grew here
Side by side
Watched each other
Grow.

This place
Between 
My ears
Only inside
My Minds 
Eye.

That I've grown too used to you
Now
That without you
It feel strange
To be 
So 
Alone.

So
Here we go
On another journey
You & I
A place we've never been
For reasons
We both know
Always the same
You & me
The voices in my head.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

That Final Battle--Thomas Murphy(You Know Why)Phoenix AZ--Warriors--Hope & Survivors--Mental Illness Aweness Month

I wrote this several days before the news, that Another Old Vet Lost His Life, in his Battle With PTSD/Depression/Mental Health Neglect--Right here at the VA in our Home of Phoenix Arizona, USA---I Post it here tonight for you......

Coming Home

22...In his Dreams, This has become a Vision that visits him too often. This Symble Of Death.

Oh, In his clearer Mind, He can still recall a time, When this repeating number, used to be a simple reminder of Home. A place on the clock, In his Buddies Minds, Placed on a calender in their Minds Eye, That still counted down their days until they knew they would make it Back Home.

But these numbers, now, He's come to see them as a Promise, As a Curse. A Weapon somehow turned against them. Taking that once innocent simplicity, & twisting it. Until they can only remind him of his Dread...Of another Call...Of another Visit...Another Letter...Saying another of his Brothers & Sisters, Won't be Coming Home.

So, He Waits. And, He Wakes some nights, & he finally sees a Vision that will slowly change his Dreams, Into Hope.  

That everyday...22 more of his Friends, Will finally Make It Home. 

DEDICATED TO ALL WHO LOSE THAT FINAL BATTLE
MAY THEY KNOW THEY WERE LOVED.
22(U.S. Veteran Suicides A Day)IsTooMany 

Monday, May 11, 2015

Reflect--Black Series

A Rose 
You leave 
Only for me.
A petal
Across my doorstep.
These are pieces of you.

This Light 
They see you in.
A false shadow
That lays on my skin.
These are reminders of you.

This Darkness 
I see myself in.
A negative
With a distant
Ever present
Flash in my mind.
These are records of you.

A Sunbeam
I refuse to let in.
A remedy 
I soon reflect.
The only antidote, you.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Home--Black Series

Before the sun rises
A moment appears.
The moon fades from the sky
And peace comes near.

You say this is normal.
That to live in darkness
Must surely be to live 
In fear.

No I say.
That to see in the dark
Is not a curse.
But a gift I crave.

For this gift I hold dear
Is one I once feared.
No longer is your face
One obscured by shadows.

I see you clearly now.
This picture of you.
Your face perfect in my sight.
Your scent guides me here.

For those of us who accept this nature
 Live apart you see.
This shadow place that most others fear.
Darkness holds no mystery for me.

It's the light.
That glaring strobe above 
I realized I never understood.
That which always confused me.

But now
With you here each night as I arrive
I see your face 
Feel your gentle grace.

And I know I am home.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Lost--Black Series

There
In the deep pale moonlight
I see your face
Reflected in the Shadows
Of this place deeper still.

Your Charm
Your beauty
Caresses my skin
With constant poise
Traction against my Heart.

My Mind 
A different Place
For when you figure this out
Surely you will know me
See my indecision.

Those Moments 
When I hear you call
But wait here still
As I find what I know
To be Truth.

That You're Grace
Haunts me still
Like a signal 
In the Dark
A touch in my Mind.

You Bring Me In
A ship
Lost in this Desert Sea
Safe harbor 
In your arms
Comfort 
In your Soul.

Friday, February 27, 2015

The Music In My Head--Musicians--Writers--Artists--Poets

The music is always in me
The rhythm in my head
The ever present sound 
Of me.

Of someone else
Not just noise
But someone 
Who is always there.

Another voice
Only with orchestras 
& guitar gods 
Who all know my name.

Switching channels
Became easy 
Learning to switch one song off
And another one on.

I came to you
This radio in my head
So long ago now
It would feel lonely without you.

Never alone
Always together
Say I
Always with the music in my head.  

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Places You've Been--Black Series

Your eyes flicker bright
Moonlight reflects the stars
In your Soul.

Hair curly 
Against your scalp
Blond as pale dusk
Shadows that fall
Across the horizon.

Head tilts
A smile that brings me back
To this place again
Your mouth a song
In my mind.

Fingers long
I feel them against my skin
Oh, why do you torment me
With this memory of you.

Your voice in my head
Things you've said
Places you said you've been
In my Heart is where you will always be.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Touch Me--Black Series

Nails black
Fade along the lines of my Soul.

Hair short
Razors edge against my Heart.

Rain hard
In my head a chaos I adore.

Tattoos nowhere
But in my Mind they stay.

Signals above
Bells chime your arrival.

Sighs near
Breaths of Life in my ear.

Touch me
It's all I need from you.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Whole--Black Series

Pale blond hair
In the paler moon light.
I see this vision in front of me
And I sigh 
This breath of life.

Black floor length jacket
Swirls all around you
A flutter of movement in the corner if my eye
I see you come for me.

Sharp teeth glow
Blinding flash of color in the street lamp
A signal to those who approach you
Natures mark of the preditor.

A breeze 
Floats against my face
My skin tingles
Pain & pin pricks of memory 
Familiar as my own breath.

Strains of a distant sound in my ears
Your voice in my head
All I see & hear is you
The clarity I have with you
Cleansing my Soul.

The easy I feel when you finally come near
My heat beats faster
My breath deep in my chest
My vision constricts
My body can only feel you.

The fear
The pain
No more
A distant memory, you see
For when I am with you
I am whole.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Blessings--Riding The Storms--Hope & Survivors--CareGivers--Recovery--Mental Illness--Special Needs

So this is  what she wonders 
When she opens her eyes
On another sleepless night
Afraid that she slept too long
That she missed something
That it's too late.

This is what she fears
That what she's done was wrong
Or that what she's done won't even matter
That what she has to give won't be enough.

This is what she finally screams
Now that she has one privet moment
To see herself & what surrounds her
This dreaded moment that she must let others do
What she can't give of herself
Again.

She cries
& Questions God
& Screams the most hateful vile words
Because she hasn't 
Not for years
Too numb & too grateful to break that spell
The one that seemed to memzmerize her
Safe
If only for a little while.

And she sees it's an illusion
& Finally that reality isn't so bad
Because the fears she had 
For the decades she'd lived before
Had become a distant memory 
Another life
Where her feelings used to be.

She'd lived now in the shadows of a new self
& A new life 
& A new joy 
Watching the one she loved 
So much more than herself
Become whole
By breaking to pieces & bravely building herself
Again.

So this new break in herself
This crack in the shadows 
With light she rarely understood
Shining in her eyes
Of feeling again
Isn't so scary after all
Like she'd feared.

Because she came to understand
Standing in the sun will burn
But it will let other things grow
Things she may not understand
Things that may catch in the breeze
& One day blow away
But finally deciding she was ready
To ride it out
And ride on the wind.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Blessings--It's All In How You See It--To The Ones I Wrote This For(You Know Why)--Hope&Survivors--CareGivers--Recovery--Mental Illness--Special Needs

To spend her nights 
Awake 
Exhausted with remorse & shame
Never sure 
That she has or will or can
Ever
Do enough.

To be so desperately afraid
To close her eyes
That the only one who should matter now
Will not wake up in the morning
Because she selfishly slept.

To know only a room away
Is the only one before this one
That she ever really loved
Is lying there pondering ending her own existence.

To know only a few miles away
The only one she ever respected before this one
Broke all the rules she ever cared about
& Walked away bent seemingly beyond repair.

To dream a sleep deprivated moment
Each time she blinked & closed her eyes
Aware that each night
Would bring only this.....

Then 
To walk outside those few stolen moments
Look into the stars
& Know the world is bigger than she is
& This too shall pass.

To wake up decades later
Knowing it was for a reason
& Looking back it was worth it
& They all survived.

This is the blessing so many wait for
And so she stands
Not alone
But with the beauty of the Universe
With her
Declaring her Strength
Her Faith
Her Love.



Sunday, January 11, 2015

Tides Of You--Black Series

Blond hair 
Short 
against my fingers
Soft in my hands as I hold you.

Black nails
Long 
Tight on my waist
Hold me here without escape.

Crimson shirt
Silk on my skin
Softer than your voice in my head.

Moonlight above
Lights from within
Tides of you pull me in.


Friday, January 9, 2015

Touches Me--Black Series

Silence is your key
A trademark
Your pathway to my Heart.

Touch is your weapon
Wielded swiftly
Quietly you reach my Soul.

Judgement is your relief
Constant in Darkness
Our Light seeps in.

Careful is your motto
Reserve is Sacred
To feel a weakness.

Blessed protection is your gift
Bestowed upon me
I acknowledge your sacrifice.

Gentleness a precious moment 
touches me still
Your Love forever in my Heart.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Burned--Black Series

Fire
Burns as if alone
Content in it's singular existence.

Colors 
Fade in & out 
Light to dark, translucent, beautiful.

Alone
It can not stay
In need of contact with the air that surrounds it.

Craves
That touch, that brings it life
Without it, knowing it will surely fade.

Afraid
Of the force it desires
Of being overpowered, extegished from existence.

This 
I understand, this need for you
Your light, flames of crimson & sapphire blue.

For with you
I breath life
I so desperately crave.

Without you
I feel 
The air leave the room.

Balance
It seems
Is never easy.

To have your life
In me, to feed from it
Without being consumed by you.

Why
I keep coming back
Drawn to you.

Why
I move away
Before I get burned.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Linger There--Black Series

A blank page
It seems this is where 
You'll be.

A ringing in my head
A song I can't get out of
My brain.

It rests there
In my mind, a feeling 
Of you.

This feeling, sensation
Tender feeling I only allow myself when I think
Of you.

Funny, though, it should be you
Raw, difficult, mixed with all 
I fear.

My friends it seems
Are those closest in the dar, waiting
For you.

Things I can't explain
Things I need but refuse now to
Feel shame.

Dancing in the those shadows
We linger close, on the edge 
Of light.

And, as always
I linger there for you.