As many know--I deal with a well organized storm of chaos many days--& Nights.
Many times here at 2-3 in the morning--Never quite making it to bed.
That is the Real Life me--A never stopping storm chaser--Always looking--Almost waiting--In hopes of another successful attempt to harness the wild that lives around me--Maybe knowing I may never really harness it inside.
And so--This is when you will see me, most nights--Or very early days--Depending on how you choose to calculate the value of day & star light.
In front of you--In my Virtual Life--Sorting through what's left of a tornado of who & what I am--What I've learned--Who I'm grateful to bring with me through one more storm.
My Offline Life has taken unexpected turns--Like a freaky CGI stunt--Cascading across the sky--The screen too dull to show you the colors that are really there--Seemingly painting the sky black.
But I sit here--The roads & paths uncertain--In many ways more than I imagined--In some a blessed silver lining in a sky I hardly recognize anymore--& This too gives me hope.
Because this is what you will see the most of here--Hope. Freedom from our own perceived losses. The balls to keep standing--Even when our bodies won't let us--& Our Souls have nearly given up--& Our minds so far gone we can't imagine a life any other way.
We--My Off Line world--The ones I live with--Live for--Live through--We are simply examples of that in it's purest form....That it's just plain old not giving up--This is the key--The one that open the doors to safety--As you run screaming from the howling winds of change--This really is all courage looks like--Simply not giving up.
So yes--You will see me in my Virtual Life with you--Basking in the blistering rain--Soaked in the life around me--Holding close to me who I really am--The skies roaring it's newest last warning--As I stand in it all--Face to the sky--& I tell you how beautiful it all is.
Because--For me--This is how I survive it--The floods--& The storms that rattle my rib cage--Excitement in my gut--Not fear--But simply the will to keep walking on--Because that's all this life we share really is--A downpour from above--Trying to learn to swim--& If we're lucky--We'll discover water wings to help us float until then.
So I figure if I'm going to get wet eventually anyway--I might as well enjoy the rain.
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