Thursday, April 5, 2018

Anyone But You--Dragons Series--Black Series

The desperate call,
the deep 
unending cascade
of solitude.
This is what 
I remember
most.

Talons,
that rip
deep into
my skin, 
the cry
of 
pain,
the cry
for 
more.

Wings above me,
soaring,
screaming
through the 
limitless 
air,
this is how
I seek 
him
now,
when I want
more. 

Test me,
tease 
me, 
tell me 
I can be 
whole,
that I can 
be without you,
still feel
like 
I'm even 
alive.

I bet 
you can't,
I pray 
you won't,
to simply prove
to me,
I no longer
exist
without
you. 

So,
take me,
to that place
you promised me,
we would
always
be,
deep
&
far away,
from anyone,
but
you.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

No Place But You--Az Rains Series

Rain drops
come off of his skin,
a shower of
peace,
in 
my
perfectly chaotic
world.

Those crystals you left me,
I hold 
them 
still. 

Hold me close
to you,
&
I can 
feel the 
scent
of 
beauty 
&
craven
tranquility
I
no longer
desire.

For 
the peace
I seek,
is 
no place
but 
you.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Until I See You Again--A "By Josephine McRose" Short Story/Series--Az Rains Series

The storms calm. The puddles flood the dirt streets below. I watch a tiny river, flowing through the dirt I secretly spread between my toes, whenever I can. 

Even as I say this to myself, I know nothing I do, gets past his sight. That stare, that makes me feel him from far away. So that I know when he's near, or simply thinking of me. That's how I know, that he knows. 

Since that first day, watching him lean against the door way of his saloon. That's how long I've known he watches me too. 

But, it's funny, isn't it. That expression, 'watching'. You'd think that, to just say 'saw', or 'briefly noticed', would be enough. But it's not. Not with him. 

See, the way I see him, the way I know he's near. It's like I can already see him, in from of me. Taste his smell on the air. Feel his hands on my skin. 

But, some days, I don't even see him at all. Well, that's not entirely true, is it. What I mean to say is, I see him, only from a distance, a moment, that for me, lasts a lifetime. 

I can't say we've spoken often. That, I know his life story, or his family. Or maybe, anything else, most people would say, makes a difference. In who someone should be to you. That should be, what makes me love him.

But that's ok, you know. Because, I've loved him all my life. Lifetimes. With him, in my mind. 

To finally find him. And in that place. I can only shake my head, as I write this to you. And laugh to my myself. Because it's just who I am, what I would do. Come out into the middle of nowhere. And find someone I've run to, & run away from, my entire life. 

Isn't that just the way.

But don't get me wrong, now. It's beautiful, in it's own way. The poetry of it all. The irony, elegant simplicity. Of dropping out, & turning on, so to speak. And here I am, dragging my little family out here(although we both know, I didn't have to suggest it twice, & their bags were packed, our stuff sold, pets in their carriers in the back seat, before I could finish my brilliant pitch, for running away, like kids to a traveling circus). Only find the thing, that's eluded me, & terrified me, since I can remember, remembering anything. Peace. 

So, that's where we are, isn't it? In our little story. I guess I'll leave it at there, for now. But don't worry, I'll write to you again, soon. 

Until then, remember me. Think of our little family, the place we've come to. The world we've discovered here. And know we're happy. Finally, we can stop running. And just.....be. 

Until I see you again,
Stacy, Debbie, & Sara(& the Pets, of course)

Saturday, December 16, 2017

My Paradise-AZ Rains Series

The fountains draining
Into the ocean 
At my feet.
A gentle explosion
Of memories

Thoughts of
You.

Storms never hold
You 
Back from
Me.
Instead,
Only send you
To me,
A nagging blessing.
My curse,
My 
Love.

The symphony in
My mind,
That canvas the
Thoughts I keep
From 
You.
Nothing privet,
Not when you
Live so deeply
In my
Mind.

The sea of
Need, 
Endless,
Dark underneath.
Translucent
As my confusion
Without you
Here.

Your fingers in
My hair,
Your taste on
My lips,
The churning
Beats a rhythm
In my soul.

Translate your voice,
Compare it to
Something I can
Understand.
Not this
Desperation
I hear
In my own 
Mind.

Can you understand,
Can you see
What you've made
Of me. 
A heart beat,
On the scale
Of harmony in
This place.

A charge in
The air around
Us,
Our own weather,
Moons,

Stars.
A world 
Where only you
&
I exist.

My 
Paradise.


Thursday, October 12, 2017

Mine--Part 1--AZ Rains Series

The hold He has on me. The platform He preaches His ministry to my Soul. The measure of Time.

These were given to me in doses, in carefully rationed tornadoes of thoughts, tastes, & sounds. Staying with me, dripping into my skin, like a controlled substance, dangled over me, I reach for more.

His smell at night, as He changes from who I see, & what he wants me to be. Does He care? That I rest here, never knowing what, & who He'll be tonight. Does He know my smell, my scent, as I descend from this place, to where I really want to be.

The breezes in my mind, they create a vortex, a whirlwind, measured on the scale of grief & pain, joys & victories. Where the newest dose of me, is slowly transfused into my veins, the life that was Him, is now mine.

(Trying a "new" format. Traditional, story telling paragraphs, rather than the poetry style shaping on the page, I usually use here.)


Sunday, September 3, 2017

You & Me--AZ Rains Series

Your smell,
in this rain.
I feel it 
touch 
me,
in a way
only 
my memories
will.

Your picture,
upon 
my 
table,
the one
keep 
in 
my room.

This is 
still 
how I see 
you.
I believe 
now,
I always 
will.

And why
shouldn't it be.
I ask 
myself this,
as I always do.
Down
these halls,
of
the rooms
that hold
every 
hint
of 
you.

It's here
now,
your smell,
your
scent that
escapes my mind
some days.
That
plays outside
of the 
confinds
of 
me.

The sun
keeps
disturbing
my
peace.
cruel extension
of 
this place,
when 
you're not 
here.

At night,
this is
when I can 
see you
most.
When I look
out my window,
the balcony 
doors
calling to me,
like they 
always 
do.
When you wait for me
outside,
the way
you 
do. 

The path,
that 
takes me
to you.
Why does it
always 
seem it's such
long
& winding
road.
When you are
always
there,
just beyond
my 
reach.

Oh but
tonight you say,
will be
no different.
It will 
bring me
to 
you,
as I always
do.
My mind
playing tricks,
letting 
me
imagine
this walk into
your 
Soul,
will be 
different somehow.

But it
shall be as
it always
will 
be.
Your arms
wrapped 
around me,
you mouth 
next 
to mine.

The scent 
of 
the nights
I live 
for,
stuck in
my 
head.
Your face
so 
close.
Those eyes 
that light
the desesert
sky.

Don't wait
so 
long 
say,
until 
I see you 
again.
And you 
tell
me again,
what 
you always
do.

That you 
are 
always
there,
waiting 
outside my 
door.
Watching,
waiting 
for me
there.

A shadow
I see
in 
the corner
of my
eye.
The movement
of the 
Wolf 
outside my
windows.
The 
feathers
of the 
Crows I hold
in my
hands,
so 
dear.

That you
will never leave
me 
alone,
you say.
You exist
because 
I do.
And 
as I breath
you,
to sustain 
my own 
life,
I keep 
you alive 
too.

To be
what we 
are,
is magic
you 
see.
Eternally,
you,
&
 me. 

Always Be--Black Series

Sunset 
comes once 
again.
It's frail
delicate 
hand
on 
my cheek.

Sunlight
against an
ever
changing sky.
Its
face
reflecting me.

Nighttime
is all
crave tho.
Shadows
along
my walls.

Reminders
of what
is
to become.
You
and 
me
finally alone.

Foretold
are these
memories.
Of
who
I'll
always be.