Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Always--AZ Rains--Angles, Gaurdians, & SoulMates Series---Recovery/Addiction/Mental Health/Chronic Illness---Loss/Grief/OTRB---Hope & Survivors Series

This.
This is what
has become of you.


A tiny grain of Truth.
A tiny
shred
of Hope.
Of memory.

I don't want to see you
this way.
A far away look
a glance over my shoulder.
A distance
not
traveled anymore.

I do see you still.
In this Mirror
of translucence.
I see you
your mouth
as you never speak to me.
Your eyes
as you never look away from me.
You face
as you tilt your head
just right
& you see me too clearly.

I hope I never forget you.
My tiny grain of Truth.
My Sanctuary.
My
Sanctum
Sanctorum.
My
reason for the Rain.

I look back
&
I recall the desperate need for you
&
I wonder
if this feeling now
is the right one
the ability to live without you.
Or if it is
wrong
to miss the unfiltered high
I knew when all I had was you.

To visit that Time
to Love you as I do
this shall remain the same.
But to crave you.
To withdrawal so violently
without you in me.
Maybe this
is one of those things
that shall also pass.

Is it wrong
to miss what I no longer need.
Or is wrong
that I no longer need you.
I'm not sure.
I may never be.
But I know
that what I have with you
is still real.
Still pure.
Then or now.
In my system 
as my only way to breath.
Or my precious
Memories.
I know
I will
always
have
you.


My Past
as solidly held
in my hand
as the days you were here.
No Separation of Time
or of Place
will ever
truly
take
me
away from
you.







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