Taylor Swift - Shake It Off -- To My Hopeful Survivors----Strong Is Beautiful Too

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with Jimmi Simpson--Because He's Adorable--Wonderfully Strange--& So Perfectly Comfortable With It All--For You My Hopeful Survivors

CeeLo Green - F---- YOU (Official Video)--RATED PG13 / R--DUE TO LANGUAGE--To Those Who Need A Few Swear Worlds To Tell The World You're A Hopeful Survivor--This Is For Us

My Heroes--Warriors Of Recovery--Part 5--Mental Illness--Addiction--Recovery--Special Needs--Disabilities--Who I Live This Lifeg For--& The Reason They Keep Me Sane While I'm Off--&--On My Blog

Permanent.

To be without change

without difference

constant

never ending.

I wrote this in Aug...

and so it goes 

that all things MUST change.

for it's the only constant

the only 

hope

the only piece 

of what we have 

to offer

that stays ever

true.

Us. 

We.

We are the constant

the edge the change

shall ride upon

the winds that rage 

& rip through us

that can never truly

diminish what we've 

become.

I sit here

a different person

for sure.

Weaker in many

respects.

And I proudly say

stronger in 

others.

And 

I even proudly tell you

that my weakness

my courage 

in it

is who I am

who I have become.

Because 

this fragile life 

around us

so delicately draped 

is an armor

a shield

a protective cover

of night

that 

not even the harshest

lights

can destroy.

It's a path

a walkway

a stone 

pebble covered

village 

country stroll.

A quiet stream

leading to the ever

bigger sea

one we will someday all 

be

together.

But for now

these Warriors

who walk beside me

who walk MY path now

who no longer 

simply walk behind

but

lead the way

they guide me

as I guide them.

They walk point

when I should have

done it for them

They clear the path ahead

&

give me the all clear

that its safe

that they have 

cleared the way.

These Warriors 

who walked in front 

for so long

who still take the lead

when they are called.

These 

newest ones

these Warriors

in the 

making

before my eyes

have become more than I ever dreamed.

They have morphed into
a graceful
powerful machine
capable
confident
sure
in part
I know
because of who
they've always
had to
be
long before
this particular
tour
began.

I know
this world
will now be
in good hands
because the fires
of hell can
forge a weapon
of steel
that can't
be bent
&
it can
destroy
what ever good
that was left.

But it's the Warriors
the ones that walk
through the flames
&
reach for you
THESE
are
My Heroes
Warriors
Of
Recovery.

The Calling - Adrienne (E-coustic Session)--I Love His "Tonight" Video--& His Stuff In General--What I Do When I'm Not On My Blog

Santana and Rob Thomas Perform Smooth Live--What I Listen To At Home & In The Car(& Live When Rob Thomas Played Here In Phx Summer 2014)When I'm Not On My Blog

We saw Rob Thomas live here in Phx AZ this summer--Perfect in every way. An almost Spiritual Experience. #Blessed I'll post some pics soon here on my Blog--Always like to share what our world looks like with you.

Lyle The Intern - 2008.06.26.avi - Where You'll Find Me When I'm Not On My Blog

Enjoying The Rain--How I Live Life As A Hopeful Survivor When I Am Off--&--On My Blog

As many know--I deal with a well organized storm of chaos many days--& Nights.

Many times here at 2-3 in the morning--Never quite making it to bed.

That is the Real Life me--A never stopping storm chaser--Always looking--Almost waiting--In hopes of another successful attempt to harness the wild that lives around me--Maybe knowing I may never really harness it inside.

And so--This is when you will see me, most nights--Or very early days--Depending on how you choose to calculate the value of day & star light.

In front of you--In my Virtual Life--Sorting through what's left of a tornado of who & what I am--What I've learned--Who I'm grateful to bring with me through one more storm.

My Offline Life has taken unexpected turns--Like a freaky CGI stunt--Cascading across the sky--The screen too dull to show you the colors that are really there--Seemingly painting the sky black.

But I sit here--The roads & paths uncertain--In many ways more than I imagined--In some a blessed silver lining in a sky I hardly recognize anymore--& This too gives me hope.

Because this is what you will see the most of here--Hope. Freedom from our own perceived losses. The balls to keep standing--Even when our bodies won't let us--& Our Souls have nearly given up--& Our minds so far gone we can't imagine a life any other way.

We--My Off Line world--The ones I live with--Live for--Live through--We are simply examples of that in it's purest form....That it's just plain old not giving up--This is the key--The one that open the doors to safety--As you run screaming from the howling winds of change--This really is all courage looks like--Simply not giving up.

So yes--You will see me in my Virtual Life with you--Basking in the blistering rain--Soaked in the life around me--Holding close to me who I really am--The skies roaring it's newest last warning--As I stand in it all--Face to the sky--& I tell you how beautiful it all is.

Because--For me--This is how I survive it--The floods--& The storms that rattle my rib cage--Excitement in my gut--Not fear--But simply the will to keep walking on--Because that's all this life we share really is--A downpour from above--Trying to learn to swim--& If we're lucky--We'll discover water wings to help us float until then.

So I figure if I'm going to get wet eventually anyway--I might as well enjoy the rain.

Matchbox Twenty - Push - What I Listen To When I'm Not On My Blog

(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 3

MOVE EM ON

(HEAD EM UP!)

CUT EM OUT

(RIDE EM IN!)

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN

BARK!

(CONE DROPS & CRACKS)

NO MORE

HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 2

KEEP MOVIN, MOVIN, MOVIN

THO THE VET'S A DISAPPROVIN 

KEEP THEM CONES A MOVIN

HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND EM
JUST CHASE & SPIN & TRIP EM
SOON WE'LL BE DRIVIN CITY WIDE

MY HEARTS CALCULATIN
MY HUMOM WILL BE WAITIN
WAITING AT THE END OF THIS
CRAZY RIDE

MOVE EM ON
(HEAD EM UP!)

CUT EM OUT
(RIDE EM IN!)

BARK!
(CONE DROPS & CRACKS)

(Keep Them Cones A Rollin)Hide!Run!Hide!--PART 1--Based On "Rawhide"--& My Cover "Fake Rawhide Chew Toys"--For J(You Know Why)

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN

HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
KEEP THAT VET A STROLLIN
KEEP THAT CONE A ROLLIN
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

RAIN BOOTIES & WIND BREAKERS & WINTER WEATHER
TRYIN TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS TETHER
WISHING THAT MY HUMOM WAS BY MY SIDE

ALL MY STUFF I'M MISSING
DOG TREATS, SNUGGLES, & NO CATS A HISSIN
ARE WAITING AT THE END OF
MY CAR RIDE

MOVE EM ON
(HEAD EM UP!)
HIDE!RUN!HIDE!

Storms--AZ Rains Series---Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Sereis(AZ Rains--Wings--Roses--Black--Reflection Sereis)

The rain in my head.

That's the funny part.

I see him

wherever I am.

In my sleep

In my path

in the stars above me.

He's still there.

The sky

opens up to me

&

it lets me see him here with me

again.

So many fear it

the storms that ravage the Earth.

But what they don't know

what they don't hear

Is him.

They only see the fear

the rage.

The tearing of the sky above them.

They don't see the Life

that crawls out

from under.

From the

scrub brush at their feet.

As if

only Life they can identify

deserves to survive.

Oh.

But that's not us

is it.

We see.

We see it all.

The

sounds of the air

ripping through our sky.

The textures of the sky

as the colors change

the clouds that feed us

open their arms ound us

&

welcome us home.

This.

This is what I know.

What I live for.

What keeps me

alive.

These Storms.

Your Face.

Your Touch.

Your Breath in mine.



Free--AZ Rains Series--Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Series

Dance in the rain with me.

Meet outside my door.

Splash in the puddles 

tell me I'm the only one.

Race me to the edge.

Show me the way.

Chase me like you do.

Feel me standing here

close to you.

They way I do you.

Let me feel your body heat

close to mine.

Don't let me shiver

or feel the cold.

Show me how to be free.



Always--AZ Rains--Angles, Gaurdians, & SoulMates Series---Recovery/Addiction/Mental Health/Chronic Illness---Loss/Grief/OTRB---Hope & Survivors Series

This.

This is what

has become of you.

A tiny grain of Truth.

A tiny

shred

of Hope.

Of memory.

I don't want to see you

this way.

A far away look

a glance over my shoulder.

A distance

not

traveled anymore.

I do see you still.

In this Mirror

of translucence.

I see you

your mouth

as you never speak to me.

Your eyes

as you never look away from me.

You face

as you tilt your head

just right

& you see me too clearly.

I hope I never forget you.

My tiny grain of Truth.

My Sanctuary.

My

Sanctum

Sanctorum.

My

reason for the Rain.

I look back

&

I recall the desperate need for you

&

I wonder

if this feeling now

is the right one

the ability to live without you.

Or if it is

wrong

to miss the unfiltered high

I knew when all I had was you.

To visit that Time

to Love you as I do

this shall remain the same.

But to crave you.

To withdrawal so violently

without you in me.

Maybe this

is one of those things

that shall also pass.

Is it wrong

to miss what I no longer need.

Or is wrong

that I no longer need you.

I'm not sure.

I may never be.

But I know

that what I have with you

is still real.

Still pure.

Then or now.

In my system 

as my only way to breath.

Or my precious

Memories.

I know

I will

always

have

you.


My Past
as solidly held
in my hand
as the days you were here.
No Separation of Time
or of Place
will ever
truly
take
me
away from
you.



A Little While--Reflection / Black Series----Warriors--Recovery--Hope & Survivors

The Duel

I rarely

if

ever

name the things

I'm about to say.

I have

only

a well know presence

in my Mind's Eye

that I know

will pursue me

until

I can be rid of him

&

put him here

on paper.

But this.

This One is different

It's who I

Really Am.

&

It is not

so easily persuaded

to

leave.

As I sit here

I know

that

what I say

what I know

about me

about what

I Really Am.

Is not something

I can

take back.

Something

that can be

undone

unsaid.

Untrue.

So

why do I

say it.

Why try.

Why pursue

something that I know

will only

be

a part of me

no matter

what I do.

Whether I admit

it to you.

Or I take it

with me

as I go on

with who

I've always

really

been.

I don't know.

Maybe

to feel that

no matter

what

we are.

No matter

who we are

not who

we've become.

Will

still be able

to enter the Light.

Be able to

feel

the warmth.

&

not

have to feel

the shame.

Even for

a

little

while.



How We Move--Relection/ Black Series----Musicians--Artists--Writers--Poets--Actors--Hope & Survivors

Heights.

The

undefinable

unfathomable depths.

They used to

lay before

me.

Lay just beneath

me

A distance

in the depths

of my hated

fears.

And

as I look beyond

them

now.

And

I see

the depths

of my own

inability

to fathom

myself.

My own

inability to

resist

the easy call

of weakness.

Of

unforgiveness.

Of simple

fear

of failure.

That

one moment

in Time

where all things

join

together

come towards you

&

you know

it's for you to decide.

For you

to forsake your own

Will.

And simply

Be.

Whatever that my

be.

Oh

to simply be.

To understand that

all Life

all

Death.

All

things.

Are never really

in our control

at

all.

That

we are only

translucent....

things.

Transparent

&

sheer.

A

syphon

for all things

we can

never

truly

understand.

And't

it's in those

Moments.

In those seconds

that

tick by.

We see.

We finally....

see.

That this Life

Isn't

a

Blessing

or

a

Curse.

It's

merely

an Illusion.

A

Myth in the

making.

What

Parts we play.

What

voices we carry.

What

story we

someday

tell.

Is

simply

the foreshadowed

end.

How....

Ah.

How.

Now

how we tell

our

Story.

This.

This is what

we all wait for.

The climatic

end.

The crescendoed

orchestrated

vibration

that runs it's course

through

our

Lives.

This

is what I

now

hear.

The

beautiful

strings

on which

all life

is

echoed.

And

I see now

that

no matter

the Song

It is

how

we move

to that

silent

music

Is all

that

really

mattered.



You--Reflection / Black Series

The Surface

underneath.

This.

This is where

I Live.

The locals

who dwell

here.

They think

they know me.

Have seen me.

Think

 this entitles them

to my

Name.

Ah

but they don't

know.

Don't understand

that

in this Place

a Story

only grows.

A Masquerade

of sorts.

A sustained

wound.

A Healing

that which

can never

be found.

This.

This is what

keeps me

here.

This break

in the fault line

this

caress

of my Soul.

a feathers

touch.

That

those sweet

echoing

moments.

Are

really of

you....

So

I dwell here

you see.

A

symphony

of 

Delusions.

A

Catastrophe

of proportions

only

 you & I

can

see.

The calling
of your
name.
The unending
Song
of
sweet
Remorse.
Your gentle
touch.
Your breath
on
my face.


These reminders
of
you.
These
Moments.
Stolen.
Encased in
an
amber & crimson
tide.
Those colors
that
will always
be of
you.


These things
keep me
here.
Enshrined.
A
Sacrifice
to
Once
Was.
My only
Breath.
My only
Life.


You.




   



His Redemption--Protector/Redemption--Part 2--Reflection / Black Series------Black Series--The Unified Spirit Of AZ Rains--Wings--Roses Series----Reflection Series--A New Series Within Black Series

All He Is

She asks.

A Vision of Hope.

A lingering putrid smell

in her Heart

as she remembers a Time

where he once was

& she was no more.

Only.

He says this.

As if it must be

Truth.

As if

all he sees

are the scars that

cross his face

when he remembers

who I am.

You see

he knows me

not

from this Place.

In the mists

of

Memory.

But

from a Moment

so long ago

I refuse to see it

clearly.

To see me

when I can't

see him.

He knows me

aches

in my Soul.

Cramps

that refuse to

heal.

Heart beats

that refuse to surface.

If only

for a little while.

Then.

It is then

that I realize.

That I know

who I am.

That I see this

unexpected

reflection of me.

In a window.

In a Crystal

I wear near my Heart

that seems to beat

for it.

As if

on it's own

even my body

betrays me.

Refuses to function

without you near.

It's then I see.

The You

Reflected

In

Me.

 



My Only Way Home--Black Series

The Moon Light

struck his Soul just right.

The refection

blinding me to what

I can't see anyway.

The Street Lamps

they flicker

a reminder of when

you used to be.

When you were

only you.

When you

didn't carry me

with you

too.

The Creatures Above Us

do you hear them.

They call for you

their leader

mentor

friend.

The Stone Building

in front of us

always a sign

a road map

a beacon.

Leading us here

where you'll always

be.

Your Wings

wrapped around you

almost lucid

transform

you.

Those Symbols

of inequity

that wrap my mind

around

you.

Bring Me Here

once again

you say.

As if you think

it's me

&

not you

that brings us

here.

A warped sense

of

Time

&

what he does

to me

when I'm

with

you..

Oh

but you say.

It is

you.

The Guardians

that Save us

bring you here

to me.

Because they

know

it's the only way

I find myself

in this

Darkness.

Because

they know

you're my only

way

Home.





In The Key Of You--Black Series--Musicians--Eternal Love--Paranormal

Crimson Tides

Flow in tune

A Melody

Of You.

Skies Above Me

Sing 

Your Praises

Waves

Of Reds

& Blues.

Shore Lines

Soak up the Life

You give 

Them

Flowing

It back into

You.

All That Surrounds

Me now

Sing your 

Praises

A constant

Melody

All spoken

In the 

Key

Of 

You.

Her Protector--Protector/Redemption Part 1--Reflection / Black Series-----Reflection Series--A Series Within A Series

Above A Tortured Sky

Wings of a Creature 

Circle by.

A Soul

Unlike the rest

He filters through

Retreating rarely

To his

Nest.

Looking Down

Toward 

All he Guards

Faith 

In what he

Hopes to see

A Vision 

In white

Her Protector

Is 

All

He'll ever

Be.

Home--Black Series

The Blood Red Moon

Sits 

In a crimson 

Sky.

Because 

He 

Reminds me 

Of you.

The Starless

Cloudless 

Sky

Sparkles 

Above me.

Only 

Because 

Of 

You.

The Light 

Shines Eternal

In your 

Eyes.

A guiding 

Beacon.

Showing me

The way

Home.

Forever
With you.

Reminders Of You--Black Series--The Unified Spirits Of AZ Rains, Wings, & Roses Series Of The Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Series

Golden Light

Shown from above

His calling card

As I now know

Him. 

A Brief Sigh

From my lips

As I feel

The air around me

Change.

The Subtle Shift

As Time

Caresses my Soul

And 

I know he's

Here.

The Warm Cleansing Rain

That falls 

Around me

Flows at my feet

The echo

Of  your arrival

Still in my

Ears.

Your Precious Velvet Rose

At my

Fingertips

The 

Thorns 

That bite me

All

Reminders 

Of 

You. 

Why You'll Find My Poetry Blog Featured In Our ReLi Arts Etsy Shop--When I Create Wearable Art I'm Still 'On My Blog'--Part 2

You'll see the steady Influence of this Blog, you're on now--When you visit us in our ReLi Arts Shop on Etsy.com--& Social Media Sites we like to hang out on.

The Titles of each Listing gives you a good reference to why you may recognize many Items--Because they are Physically Tangible ways to express the things in my Blog you've grown used to reading & seeing over the last year we've--You & I-- been Online together. 

I've found a way to continue to Create--To use that to continue to lead the way Forward for the Ones I Walk Point For...

And literally carry with me--A Piece Of The Souls I Love.

Which is why--You will see "By Re" or "By Li"--So you know Who put a Piece Of Themselves into what you bought--Knowing it's Real People that made that Moment exist.

 Why I Credit "Peg" with backing us--As we Follow A Dream.

And why you'll find 'off beat', 'nontraditional' Items you're not likely to find everywhere.....

Because that's Who & What We Are--Survivors...Letting The Freak Flag Fly....

So, maybe you'll see Something here, that makes you feel relief that you're Not Alone...

&Then you'll stop by & See us in our Store--& You see that little Something that reminds you, that you were right--That you're Really Not Alone.

And I'll Honored to be A Part Of That....

That Moment--When we Discover--There's a A Little Bit Of Freak in all of us.....

& It really is OK to Wear It Proudly.

Hope to see you There.

etsy.com/shop/ReLiArts 

How My Personal Poetry Blog Infuences What I Make On Our ReLi Arts Etsy Shop--When I Create Wearable Art I'm Still 'On My Blog'--Part 1

Thank You to ALL of the wonderful Folks who read my Personal Blog----

I got started doing Online Pawties--& Social Circles Involving & Promoting Animal Rights--Shelters & Rescues--Pet Parenting--& Grief Support...

I was accepted into--& Mentored by--A large International Loosely & Tightly Knit Group Of People--& As I learned the ropes--I Discovered that Online is very much like Offline--There  are Folks who genuinely want you to Succed--& People  who only feel comfortable with your presence if you comply with their ridgid rules of  behaviors & expectations.

The real Key was to recognize & accept that--Grow as a Social Person Who Isn't Always Comfortable In Social Situations...& Recognize When The People Around You Really Are Actually Toxic.

I've always Written, Drawn, Pondered Meaning In My Head--& Those familiar with my Blog, See the progression of more than a year of an esencially Public Display of that....That I'm failable-That I fall--I bleed-I...Suffer losses...& I likely cause some as well.

But, This is why we are here isn't it--To join with other People who understand us--To view the Failures of others-To try to find Reason--Meaning--Acceptance--Even if only--& Maybe especially--From Ourselves.

So--I continued to Explore--Recount--Wallow--Bath In My Past--& Find Mind Searing Peace...& Discoved Other Writers Online--& People Who 'Get It'.

Fast forward to almost a year ago--& We are finally found Online--On a little Shop--Selling stuff we've enjoyed making in our own living room for 3 Generations now's full filling a Promise to each other made over a decade ago--That we would find a way to Support ourselves, to grow, make Progress, no matter what.

You'll see a lot of those Changes--Challenges--& Motivating Moments here--"On My Blog" Posts--& In the Poems & Series/Short Stories--That are mostky--If not all's Autobiographies & Biographies From My Perspective--Thinly veiled Personal Mements In Time--With a dash of Faith--& A Beautiful Sprinkling of Hope......

Shadows--Black Series

Cold Dark Hands

Under the cover

Of darkness

Think not

To warm themselves

But 

To simply wait.

For My Arrival

You say

Makes the sting

Of loneliness

A pleasant thing

A moment cherished.

To Rest Your Soul

In mine

To breath the air

Of the living

Is to bring 

Light

To shadows

In the dark.

Only You--Black Series

Color Burst

Across my eyes

My Sky

A pyrotechnic

Swirl.

Your 

Fading Darkness

Resumes

As night

Falls

And 

My Day 

Begins.

The Sounds

Of

My World

Fading 

From view

As 

I

Consume

Only

You.

Set Me Free-Black Series

The Black Shadows

That hide your 

Face.

The Temptation

That Shadows

Mine.

These 

Quite Moments

That steal 

My Dreams

Feed

My Illusions.

You Come To Me

To my Depths

In my 

Barest Form

And

You Encase me.

Like A Creature

Outside of my Shell

I Wait

This

Inevitable Change

Always near. 

For 

Your Mouth 

Upon me

Your Distance 

No more.

I Seek 

Truth

Your Illusions 

Set 

Me Free.

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 4--Hope & Survivors

And so--It seems all Expectation Of Hope becomes Fleeting--A Far Gone Illustion--A Thing Other People Own....

But here's the thing--I was never Made That Way--Defeat made me Angry--Being Brushed Aside made me realize I was Alone--Being Talked Down To & Dismissed only made me Understand it was time to Move On...

But This Particular Kind Of Rejection--This Basest Of Digs--It hits in a Places that literally IS Who You Are. It doesnt matter if it's You or Your Loved One--The Pain & Disillutionment is the Same.

In fact--For Some it's the Ones We Love--Their Pain--Their Hope--Their Beautiful Smiles that make all the Other Shit seem Worth It....It's when we see that smile fade--See that Moment of Reality hit---Know the World doesn't See them the way we do--That Changes Who We Are Permenently....

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 3--Hope & Survivors

And so then, I go on to think of the Moments in my own Experiences with Illness--My own Weakest Moments--& Those of my own Loved Ones, as I stand beside them--& I realise what it looked like on the Outside Looking In... & The sheer Disconnection I felt looking from the Inside Out--Watching Those Who Should Have Championed An Innocent, slowly remove themselves, absolving themselves of Guilt Of Imperfection By Association.

I Remember in vivid, mind numbing techno color, the Looks Of Fear...These are the Looks I remember most--& The Looks Of Consdisention--The Ones that said 'I don't Belive you' You didn't Do it right' 'You didn't Try hard enough'....

' I can't do this with you--I won't'......

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 2--Hope & Survivors

When you look at me, writing here with you--Or a Casual Friend in person or on online--& You say to yourself 'How can they be this sick if they're always online?' 'How "sick"(eye roll) can their Loved One be if I see them acting & looking just fine to me?'.

And so goes the Endless Battles with the Outside World--The World these Warriors must Live & Survive In, outside of their Own Mind--& Their Own Home. 

'How bad can it be? I had that, & I didn't complain this much' 'Not again--This Drama Queen Act has got to stop' .....

'Move on already'.

I imagine, over the years, the people I've know, where I've said these things--When I've looked out from my relatively Healthy Body--& Been blind--My Soul & Mind somehow not comprehending what it can't conceive of--& How they must have felt Shock--Disappointment--Fear--As they realize someone they thought they Knew-Never really Understood them at all....

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 1--Hope & Survivors-Chronic Illness-Mental Illness-Trama-PTSD-Recovery-Addiction

Chronic Illness--Mental Illness--Trama--PTSD--Recovery--Addiction.....

These Warriors Of Recovery--These Battles Fought, Sometimes Won, Sometimes Lost-----

THESE are my Heros.

Why? 

Because they fight Silent Killers. Because these Assassins Of The Soul, lay in silence, waiting for a Moment Of Weakness. Prey on the Innocent. Disguise themselves as any Normal Moment--& Cleverly insinuate their way into those Warriors lives....And the most crule of all--They are Masters Of Manipulation--Convincing the People around these Warriors, that they are nothing more than a Passing Traveler--A Passing Phase.

Those People Who Should Go To Battle for these Warriors, are instead led to dismiss what they see. To ignore the Signs. Create False Perceptions of Those Who Are Slowly Losing The Battle.....

Empty Space--Black Series

The Moon 

Is my Sky.

For in it

Lies your Path.

The Traces 

Of you

Streaked across

A Sunless 

Crimson Sky.

The Stars 

Are your 

Eyes

Pierced 

Against 

My

Sight.

The Comets

Your Ego

Fleeting

In it's Path 

To me.

For 

Your Will

Is Ever Mine

A Sea

Of Destiny.

The Seemingly 

Empty Space

Dark 

Matter

They say.

Oh

But 

We both Know

Is always Filled

With You.

The Voices In My Head--Poets--Writters--Musicians--Warriors--Recovery--Hope & Survivors--And Sometimes Dragons Too

These voices in my head

Are silent once more

But should they

Must they 

Be.

Because 

It's not normal

They say

Because one of you

Should only 

Take resistance

There.

Oh

But they don't know

Do they

That we already 

Live here

Always grew here

Side by side

Watched each other

Grow.

This place

Between 

My ears

Only inside

My Minds 

Eye.

That I've grown too used to you

Now

That without you

It feel strange

To be 

So 

Alone.

So

Here we go

On another journey

You & I

A place we've never been

For reasons

We both know

Always the same

You & me

The voices in my head.

That Final Battle--Thomas Murphy(You Know Why)Phoenix AZ--Warriors--Hope & Survivors--Mental Illness Aweness Month

I wrote this several days before the news, that Another Old Vet Lost His Life, in his Battle With PTSD/Depression/Mental Health Neglect--Right here at the VA in our Home of Phoenix Arizona, USA---I Post it here tonight for you......

Coming Home

22...In his Dreams, This has become a Vision that visits him too often. This Symble Of Death.

Oh, In his clearer Mind, He can still recall a time, When this repeating number, used to be a simple reminder of Home. A place on the clock, In his Buddies Minds, Placed on a calender in their Minds Eye, That still counted down their days until they knew they would make it Back Home.

But these numbers, now, He's come to see them as a Promise, As a Curse. A Weapon somehow turned against them. Taking that once innocent simplicity, & twisting it. Until they can only remind him of his Dread...Of another Call...Of another Visit...Another Letter...Saying another of his Brothers & Sisters, Won't be Coming Home.

So, He Waits. And, He Wakes some nights, & he finally sees a Vision that will slowly change his Dreams, Into Hope.  

That everyday...22 more of his Friends, Will finally Make It Home. 

DEDICATED TO ALL WHO LOSE THAT FINAL BATTLE

MAY THEY KNOW THEY WERE LOVED.
22(U.S. Veteran Suicides A Day)IsTooMany 

Reflect--Black Series

A Rose 

You leave 

Only for me.

A petal

Across my doorstep.

These are pieces of you.

This Light 

They see you in.

A false shadow

That lays on my skin.

These are reminders of you.

This Darkness 

I see myself in.

A negative

With a distant
Ever present
Flash in my mind.

These are records of you.

A Sunbeam

I refuse to let in.

A remedy 

I soon reflect.

The only antidote, you.

Home--Black Series

Before the sun rises

A moment appears.

The moon fades from the sky

And peace comes near.

You say this is normal.

That to live in darkness

Must surely be to live 

In fear.

No I say.

That to see in the dark

Is not a curse.

But a gift I crave.

For this gift I hold dear

Is one I once feared.

No longer is your face

One obscured by shadows.

I see you clearly now.

This picture of you.

Your face perfect in my sight.

Your scent guides me here.

For those of us who accept this nature
 Live apart you see.

This shadow place that most others fear.

Darkness holds no mystery for me.

It's the light.

That glaring strobe above 

I realized I never understood.

That which always confused me.

But now

With you here each night as I arrive

I see your face 

Feel your gentle grace.

And I know I am home.

Lost--Black Series

There

In the deep pale moonlight

I see your face

Reflected in the Shadows

Of this place deeper still.

Your Charm

Your beauty

Caresses my skin

With constant poise

Traction against my Heart.

My Mind 

A different Place

For when you figure this out

Surely you will know me

See my indecision.

Those Moments 

When I hear you call

But wait here still

As I find what I know

To be Truth.

That You're Grace

Haunts me still

Like a signal 

In the Dark

A touch in my Mind.

You Bring Me In

A ship

Lost in this Desert Sea

Safe harbor 

In your arms

Comfort 

In your Soul.

The Music In My Head--Musicians--Writers--Artists--Poets

The music is always in me

The rhythm in my head

The ever present sound 

Of me.

Of someone else

Not just noise

But someone 

Who is always there.

Another voice

Only with orchestras 

& guitar gods 

Who all know my name.

Switching channels

Became easy 

Learning to switch one song off

And another one on.

I came to you

This radio in my head

So long ago now

It would feel lonely without you.

Never alone

Always together

Say I

Always with the music in my head.  

Places You've Been--Black Series

Your eyes flicker bright

Moonlight reflects the stars

In your Soul.

Hair curly 

Against your scalp

Blond as pale dusk

Shadows that fall

Across the horizon.

Head tilts

A smile that brings me back

To this place again

Your mouth a song

In my mind.

Fingers long

I feel them against my skin

Oh, why do you torment me

With this memory of you.

Your voice in my head

Things you've said

Places you said you've been

In my Heart is where you will always be.

Touch Me--Black Series

Nails black

Fade along the lines of my Soul.

Hair short

Razors edge against my Heart.

Rain hard

In my head a chaos I adore.

Tattoos nowhere

But in my Mind they stay.

Signals above

Bells chime your arrival.

Sighs near

Breaths of Life in my ear.

Touch me

It's all I need from you.

Whole--Black Series

Pale blond hair

In the paler moon light.

I see this vision in front of me

And I sigh 

This breath of life.

Black floor length jacket

Swirls all around you

A flutter of movement in the corner if my eye

I see you come for me.

Sharp teeth glow

Blinding flash of color in the street lamp

A signal to those who approach you

Natures mark of the preditor.

A breeze 

Floats against my face

My skin tingles

Pain & pin pricks of memory 

Familiar as my own breath.

Strains of a distant sound in my ears

Your voice in my head

All I see & hear is you

The clarity I have with you
Cleansing my Soul.

The easy I feel when you finally come near
My heat beats faster
My breath deep in my chest
My vision constricts
My body can only feel you.

The fear
The pain
No more
A distant memory, you see
For when I am with you
I am whole.

Blessings--Riding The Storms--Hope & Survivors--CareGivers--Recovery--Mental Illness--Special Needs

So this is  what she wonders 

When she opens her eyes

On another sleepless night

Afraid that she slept too long

That she missed something

That it's too late.

This is what she fears

That what she's done was wrong

Or that what she's done won't even matter

That what she has to give won't be enough.

This is what she finally screams

Now that she has one privet moment

To see herself & what surrounds her

This dreaded moment that she must let others do

What she can't give of herself

Again.

She cries

& Questions God

& Screams the most hateful vile words

Because she hasn't 

Not for years

Too numb & too grateful to break that spell

The one that seemed to memzmerize her

Safe

If only for a little while.

And she sees it's an illusion

& Finally that reality isn't so bad

Because the fears she had 

For the decades she'd lived before

Had become a distant memory 

Another life

Where her feelings used to be.

She'd lived now in the shadows of a new self

& A new life 

& A new joy 

Watching the one she loved 

So much more than herself

Become whole

By breaking to pieces & bravely building herself

Again.

So this new break in herself

This crack in the shadows 

With light she rarely understood

Shining in her eyes

Of feeling again

Isn't so scary after all

Like she'd feared.

Because she came to understand

Standing in the sun will burn

But it will let other things grow

Things she may not understand

Things that may catch in the breeze

& One day blow away

But finally deciding she was ready
To ride it out
And ride on the wind.

Blessings--It's All In How You See It--To The Ones I Wrote This For(You Know Why)--Hope&Survivors--CareGivers--Recovery--Mental Illness--Special Needs

To spend her nights 

Awake 

Exhausted with remorse & shame

Never sure 

That she has or will or can

Ever
Do enough.

To be so desperately afraid

To close her eyes

That the only one who should matter now

Will not wake up in the morning
Because she selfishly slept.

To know only a room away

Is the only one before this one

That she ever really loved

Is lying there pondering ending her own existence.

To know only a few miles away

The only one she ever respected before this one

Broke all the rules she ever cared about

& Walked away bent seemingly beyond repair.

To dream a sleep deprivated moment

Each time she blinked & closed her eyes

Aware that each night

Would bring only this.....

Then 

To walk outside those few stolen moments

Look into the stars

& Know the world is bigger than she is

& This too shall pass.

To wake up decades later

Knowing it was for a reason

& Looking back it was worth it

& They all survived.

This is the blessing so many wait for

And so she stands

Not alone

But with the beauty of the Universe

With her
Declaring her Strength
Her Faith
Her Love.

Tides Of You--Black Series

Blond hair 

Short 

against my fingers

Soft in my hands as I hold you.

Black nails

Long 

Tight on my waist

Hold me here without escape.

Crimson shirt

Silk on my skin

Softer than your voice in my head.

Moonlight above

Lights from within

Tides of you pull me in.

Touches Me--Black Series

Silence is your key

A trademark

Your pathway to my Heart.

Touch is your weapon

Wielded swiftly

Quietly you reach my Soul.

Judgement is your relief

Constant in Darkness

Our Light seeps in.

Careful is your motto

Reserve is Sacred

To feel a weakness.

Blessed protection is your gift

Bestowed upon me

I acknowledge your sacrifice.

Gentleness a precious moment 

touches me still

Your Love forever in my Heart.

Burned--Black Series

Fire

Burns as if alone

Content in it's singular existence.

Colors 

Fade in & out 

Light to dark, translucent, beautiful.

Alone

It can not stay

In need of contact with the air that surrounds it.

Craves

That touch, that brings it life

Without it, knowing it will surely fade.

Afraid

Of the force it desires

Of being overpowered, extegished from existence.

This 

I understand, this need for you

Your light, flames of crimson & sapphire blue.

For with you

I breath life

I so desperately crave.

Without you

I feel 

The air leave the room.

Balance
It seems
Is never easy.

To have your life
In me, to feed from it
Without being consumed by you.

Why
I keep coming back
Drawn to you.

Why
I move away
Before I get burned.

Linger There--Black Series

A blank page

It seems this is where 

You'll be.

A ringing in my head

A song I can't get out of

My brain.

It rests there

In my mind, a feeling 

Of you.

This feeling, sensation

Tender feeling I only allow myself when I think

Of you.

Funny, though, it should be you

Raw, difficult, mixed with all 

I fear.

My friends it seems

Are those closest in the dar, waiting

For you.

Things I can't explain

Things I need but refuse now to

Feel shame.

Dancing in the those shadows

We linger close, on the edge 

Of light.

And, as always

I linger there for you.