My Paradise-AZ Rains Series

The fountains draining
Into the ocean 
At my feet.
A gentle explosion
Of memories
& 
Thoughts of
You.

Storms never hold
You 
Back from
Me.
Instead,
Only send you
To me,
A nagging blessing.
My curse,
My 
Love.

The symphony in
My mind,
That canvas the
Thoughts I keep
From 
You.
Nothing privet,
Not when you
Live so deeply
In my
Mind.

The sea of
Need, 
Endless,
Dark underneath.
Translucent
As my confusion
Without you
Here.

Your fingers in
My hair,
Your taste on
My lips,
The churning
Beats a rhythm
In my soul.

Translate your voice,
Compare it to
Something I can
Understand.
Not this
Desperation
I hear
In my own 
Mind.

Can you understand,
Can you see
What you've made
Of me. 
A heart beat,
On the scale
Of harmony in
This place.

A charge in
The air around
Us,
Our own weather,
Moons,
& 
Stars.
A world 
Where only you
&
I exist.

In my
Mind.
My 
Paradise.

Mine--Part 1--AZ Rains Series

The hold He has on me. The platform He preaches His ministry to my Soul. The measure of Time.

These were given to me in doses, in carefully rationed tornadoes of thoughts, tastes, & sounds. Staying with me, dripping into my skin, like a controlled substance, dangled over me, I reach for more.

His smell at night, as He changes from who I see, & what he wants me to be. Does He care? That I rest here, never knowing what, & who He'll be tonight. Does He know my smell, my scent, as I descend from this place, to where I really want to be.

The breezes in my mind, they create a vortex, a whirlwind, measured on the scale of grief & pain, joys & victories. Where the newest dose of me, is slowly transfused into my veins, the life that was Him, is now mine.

(Trying a "new" format. Traditional, story telling paragraphs, rather than the poetry style shaping on the page, I usually use here.)

You & Me--AZ Rains Series

Your smell,

in this rain.

I feel it 

touch 

me,

in a way

only 

my memories

will.

Your picture,

upon 

my 

table,

the one

I 

keep 

in 

my room.

This is 

still 

how I see 

you.

I believe 

now,

I always 

will.

And why

shouldn't it be.

I ask 

myself this,

as I always do.

Down

these halls,

of

the rooms

that hold

every 

hint

of 

you.

It's here

now,

your smell,

your

scent that

escapes my mind

some days.

That

plays outside

of the 

confinds

of 

me.

The sun

keeps

disturbing

my

peace.

A 

cruel extension

of 

this place,

when 

you're not 

here.

At night,

this is

when I can 

see you

most.

When I look

out my window,

the balcony 

doors

calling to me,

like they 

always 

do.

When you wait for me

outside,

the way

you 

do. 

The path,

that 

takes me

to you.

Why does it

always 

seem it's such

a 

long

& winding

road.

When you are

always

there,

just beyond

my 

reach.

Oh but

tonight you say,

will be

no different.

It will 

bring me

to 

you,

as I always

do.

My mind

playing tricks,

letting 

me

imagine

this walk into

your 

Soul,

will be 

different somehow.

But it

shall be as

it always

will 

be.

Your arms

wrapped 

around me,

you mouth 

next 

to mine.

The scent 

of 

the nights

I live 

for,

stuck in

my 

head.

Your face

so 

close.

Those eyes 

that light

the desesert

sky.

Don't wait

so 

long 

I 

say,

until 

I see you 

again.

And you 

tell

me again,

what 

you always

do.

That you 

are 

always

there,

waiting 

outside my 

door.

Watching,

waiting 

for me

there.

A shadow

I see

in 

the corner

of my

eye.

The movement

of the 

Wolf 

outside my

windows.

The 

feathers

of the 

Crows I hold

in my

hands,

so 

dear.

That you

will never leave

me 

alone,

you say.

You exist

because 

I do.

And 

as I breath

you,

to sustain 

my own 

life,

I keep 

you alive 

too.

To be

what we 

are,

is magic

you 

see.

Eternally,

you,

&

 me. 

Always Be--Black Series

Sunset 

comes once 

again.

It's frail

delicate 

hand

on 

my cheek.

Sunlight

against an

ever

changing sky.

Its

face

reflecting me.

Nighttime

is all

I 

crave tho.

Shadows

along

my walls.

Reminders

of what

is

to become.

You

and 

me

finally alone.

Foretold

are these

memories.

Of

who

I'll

always be. 

To Me-AZ Rains Series

This night,

You find me

Here, 

Again.

The dust,

Rolls off my

Feet,

As I look

Around 

Me.

Your eyes,

They always

Find 

Me, 

A 

Testament,

To 

Why I 

Stay 

Here.

The rain,

Always 

Is,

As it

Should 

Be,

A pulse

In my 

Chest.

That look,

The one

That

Brings me

Down 

Here,

From 

My balcony

I 

Crawl.

Oh, but

Others,

Hmmm,

They wouldnt

See it 

This way,

Would they,

This 

Desperation

I 

Seek.

But you,

You

See this

Place 

As I 

Do, 

The one

Place

In time,

I will

Always

Find

You. 

Where I

Was 

Always 

Meant 

To

Be,

Your

Testament

To

Me.

Anything But You--AZ Rains Series

His arms around 

Me,

In silence.

A sound 

Only 

I 

Hear.

The echoes 

Below me,

I hear in 

My dreams.

A feather

Left on my

Door step,

A reminder

Of

You.

The howling

At my feet,

The call 

Of 

The

Wind.

I wait 

Outside

For 

You,

&

You lead me

There.

Puddles 

Escape my

Toes,

Rain 

Pours around 

Me.

The sounds

Of your

Voice,

In my ear,

Rings

In my

Head.

I don't breath

Without 

You,

You tell

Me.

I can't

Remember

Anything,

But

You.

To You--Angels, Guardians, & Soul Mates Series

The 

Crimson 

Tides,

Upon this

Shore.

You live

Here,

My 

Past.

Your 

Feet,

Upon my 

Sands.

I 

Feel you

Here,

Walking thru

My 

Memories.

A 

Distant 

Roar,

A hurricane 

Sounds.

Sirins blare,

A song

That brings

Me

From

My 

Myself.

I 

Gladly

Stay,

Far from

Where  I

Should 

Be.

Off

The beaten

Path,

They say.

But 

All my

Roads,

Always lead

To

You.

My Angel--Angels, Guardians, & Soul Mates Series

Home,

Is where your 

Voice

Brings me.

The Gentle 

Vibrations,

Against my ribs,

They 

Rumble

& 

Ache 

Still.
A feeling
I crave
To
Relive,
Again,
&
Again,
&
Again.

The Chocking

Sound,

In his 

Throat,

As he 

Walks away.

I remember

this
Still,
A passage
Of
Time.

The Air,

Across my

Chest,

A breeze
Remorseless,
Of

Everything

But 

Him.

A searing 

Relief.

Why Does

Your Spirit

Keep me

Here.

Where

I can only 

Think

Of you.

Like A Drug,

Your 

Taste 

On my 

Mouth,

Lingers.

A source 

Of survival

That 

Dies too

Fast.

The Center,

Of this place,

Comes 

To 

Me

In my

Dreams. 

The warmth,

Only

Inside

You,

Absent 

When 

You're

Gone.

Blanket Me

With 

It,

This night.

Wrap 

Around 

Me,

Your wings,

Gentle

&

Free.

Let 

The music

I hear 

In my mind,

Only 

You

Make me

Hear,

Lull 

Me 

To

Sleep,

Once

More.

For Tomorrow,

The world

Waits.

But,

With 

You 

In

My

Dreams,

I 

Survive

Another

Day.

My 

Angel,

&

I.

The Story--AZ Rains--A "By Josephine McRose" Series

Once,

on the river front,

in the dark,

where I liked to be,

he came.

I waited for him 

there,

so,

I suppose 

you could say,

it

wasn't 

some great 

moment.

As if it was 

fate.

Ah,

but 

that's just 

what 

it was,

tho.

Wasn't it.

His face 

above me.

His eyes looking 

at me,

that.......

deep breath

 he would

make,

that sound.

And so

I breathed 

a sigh of relief,

or would,

if I could.

If I could feel 

air in my

lungs,

instead of water

rushing 

into 

them.

You see,

the stage,

it had a habit

of running late,

of 

being predictable,

only 

in it's ability 

to 

piss me off.

It ran fast,

& it ran slow,

only enough so 

my plans

were only that.

Plans,

& not what 

I could rely 

on. 

And yes,

I DO see the 

irony

here.

The subtle 

transference,

deflecting.

Pot calling the 

kettle 

black,

type of

defining someone else,

by 

my own 

shortcomings,
kind of
thing.

But,

I thought I knew

better,
didn't I.

That I could 

be close,

be close enough.
So

that I could 

stop it.

Stop 

the 

only thing
that 
COULD
happen,
that night.

Yes,

I know.

I've heard it all

before this.

The explanations.

The logical 

reasons.

That faith,

predictions,

premonitions.

They don't work,

they don't exist. 

They. Are. Not.

Real. 

Fine.

Then tell me why,

then.

Tell me why,

I saw him there

that night.

Why 

the winds blow 

in that direction,

why 

I see him,

outside my balcony

windows,

on the dirt 

street 

below. 

Why I know,

he will

always

be 

there.

I could tell you

why. 

But that's 

another story,

isn't it.

But,

like Sara used 

to tell me,

the beginning,

or the

end,

all depends

on,

who's telling

the story...

Who I Wanted To Be--Hope & Survivors Series--Fire & Ice Series

The sun shines on 

you.

The only piece

of reality

I can still

hold on to.

The caves,

that once hid

your sight 

so well 

from me,

now 

closes in,

& enfolds me,
like
a blanket.

Soft,

warm,

safe.

This Darkness,

I used to crave so,

has left me,

I'm afraid.

It's all I've known,

what will I 

live for

now.

The Light,

they lied about that,

too,

didn't they,

the way it lies

in front of me
now.

It seemed so 

real,

back then,

the Possibilities.

The Truth.

It's not what they 

said it would 

be,

you know.

The Place,

between where I know,

& where they 

say,

I should be.

That......

perfect place,

between 

now & then.

Between......

here & 

there,

between 

where I feel safe,

& where I should feel at

home.

But I don't belong there.

Or,

I think I don't,

or 

I never did before.

Now,

I don't know for sure.

Not anymore.

If I've become......

finally.....

settled..........

or just....

tired,

worn down.

Edges smoothed out.

Creases washed 

away.

But does that make me

what you wanted,

or 

did it just make 

me

something I never wanted

to be.

Have I pleased myself,

or you.

Have I forgiven 

what I was,

or 

have I just 

let myself

forget.

What will I do,

when I don't know

what I've 

become.

I don't know 

anymore.

But,

I think I know

what I was.

What I am now.

And,

hopefully,

what I will become

someday,

will be someone

I can say

is who I wanted to

be,

too. 

Chasing You--AZ Rains Series--Angels, Guardians, & Soul Mates Series

The soft sounds,

of 

his breath,

on 

mine.

The picture,

I kept 

of 

you.

I look at

it,

still.

I wait,

each night,

&

talk 

quietly

to myself.

Because I know,

that,

if I don't

do 

something,

to keep

my 

mind sane,

I may

never know,

if it's

really 

you,

or 

me.

I walk,

down these stairs,

echos

on the floor boards,

dripping

down the walls,

they 

feel as real,

as you do,

in my 

arms.

And so,

I must,

once 

again,

realize I may

never 

know.

What part of 

me,

reaches

our for you,

to tame 

the thirst 

I see

in you.

Or,

if it's just 

me,

& 

my cluttered mind,

seeking solace,

in a task

I can understand,

the game

of 

chasing

you. 

With You--AZ Rains Series--Angels, Guardians, & Soul Mates Series

The edges,

this is where

you'll find 

her.

Where

he lies,

breathing 

just beneath

the surface.

The surface,

where she knows

she should 

be.

That is only

where

she sometimes

wanders,

on nights

she can't sleep.

And so,

you will find her

here,

with me,

on pages,

lost long ago.

In the margins,

on the tips 

of a pen,

where she 

knows

she'll 

find him.

The stories,

they write themselves,

don't they.

The story 

of who they

are,

what they've 

become.

My salvation,

your fantasy.

Their test,

of my sanity,

her 

existence,

his

faith,

I find them

there.

The sounds,

of 

echos,

their voices,

in my 

head.

That's what I 

hear,

when I sit 

here.

That 

repeating

pattern,

of love,

courage.

Pain. 

THIS,

this is who I 

am.

Them.

I.

Am.

Them.

And they,

are 

me.

So, 

here 

we 

go 

again.

The beautiful

lullabye,

the peace I feel,

when I feel

you.

Close to me,

once again. 

Their embrace,

the sirin call,

the future

I can 

see 

from here.

The one

they promise

me.

The one 

I choose

to 

believe,

is true.

The one,

where

I 

always

end up,

with 

you. 

Ever With You--AZ Rains Series

Your touch,

&

breath 

upon my face.

The gentle 

sands

of this

place,

upon my skin.

These things still

remind me 

of 

you.

The call

I 

hear,

as I set 

my 

feet

upon this

sacred

ground.

These too,

remind me

of

you.

The shallow

shore,

the desert 

escape,

the 

sounds

of nothing

but 

you.

This too,

reminds me

of

you.

My breath,

as it
is

escaping 

my own

body,

ceases 

to 

exist,

lest 

I

forget

to

think

of 

you.

These memories,

forgotten

in 

time,

shall warm

me,

&

still,

I can't 

help

but 

think 

of 

you.

The photograph

you 

left me,

stays 

with me

now,

still,

as it 

did,

when we

were

brand

new.

I never lets 

me

forget,

that I

will

always

think

of

you.

Your voice,

a steady

stream,

of 

what once 

was,

when I was

we.

The glossy

texture 

of time

past,

will keep

me

here,

ever with

you. 

Home--Monsters Series--Fire & Ice Series--Hope & Survivors Series

The Beast Inside,

this is 

the one

she always

knew.

Was it 

wrong,

to tell a child

that was
 who she

was,
that
it

had already 

been 

decided

by 

fate.

She wonders

still.

Could 

that 

monster inside

be

something

she could

ever

be rid

of. 

She still 

didn't 

know.

But,

it really

doesn't matter,

though,

does 

it.

It's who 

she 

is. 

Who she 

will 

always 

be.

Ah,

but,

there it 

is. 

Fate,

destiny.

Cause,

effect.

Nature,

nurture.

Who she 

really

is,

Who she

might 

someday

be.

Oh,

don't be 

fooled,

by 

her...

need,

to be 

more.

Or even,

the hope

that she will

be 

less.

It's 

still inside.

It waits,

for 

the moments

it 

needs 

her again.

For 

when she

calls 

it home. 

Like She Knew--"The Chair" Series--Guardians & Chosen Ones Series--Hope & Survivors Series

She would
simply
tell
you,
how could
she
explain
to someone
that
couldn't
understand.

Oh,
she knew
it
wasn't entirely
normal,
to have him
here
with her.

She realized
this
early one.
Knew
it wasn't
this way
for
everyone.

Knew
that,
her Guardian
stayed close
by.
Was
in her
room with
her,
when other
little girls
&
boys
were out
to play,
to tease,
to be
silly,
& waste
her
time.

She
was
here.

Never alone.

But
how could
they
understand,
as they
looked
at
her.
So thin,
so
frail.
Feeling sorry
for
her
even.
That
she always
seemed
to
play
alone.

But that's
not the
way
he
saw her.
Strong.
Brave.
Sure.
Hilarious,
insightful
into the
minds,
&
hearts,
of
the ones
who left her
behind.
To
play
alone.

In his
world,
time sped by
quickly.
Months
&
years,
blended together.
A creamy soup,
of dates
&
memories,
anniversaries
of who he
had left
behind.

But time,
was
cruel,
slowing
when
it should
have
moved on
without
him.
Speeding up
when
all he wanted
was
to be
here,
just a little
bit
longer.

In this room,
with
her,
he could
feel it slipping
away.
His memories
of the
others.
His will
to
forget,
even tho
he never did.
His
desire
to,
simply
move
on.

He promised
her
then,
He silently
pleaded with
her.
To understand,
to
will her
into believing
everything
he
could never
tell her.

That
he
would
never leave
her
behind.

He would find
a
way.
Even if he
had to
travel back
to this place
again,
&
again,
& again....
& again.

She always
greeting him
with this
same
smile.
Like she
knew.

Why--"The Chair" Series--Guardians & Chosen Ones Series--Hope & Survivors Series

As 

he sits,

he sees what

most

don't.

A 

fragile 

human being.

A miracle.

His only

hope.

What 

she saw.

Well,

that was 

a little 

more 

difficult to 

explain.

You see,

he sat across

from her

for so long 

now,

he was almost

a 

part of her

scenery.

Her 

landscape,

what she
 always 

knew

to be

true.

How could

anyone

get used to

seeing

someone like

him,

you may

wonder.

How 

do you 

just

accept,

that it's 

real.

And not

question

why......

The Chair--A Guardians & Chosen Ones Series--Hope & Survivors Series--A New/Updated Version Of A Short Story Series I Started About 6-7 Years Ago--Inspired By A Separate Series I Stared About 6 Years Before

The chair

in the corner,

on the other side

of the 

room.

He's always been

there.

Sitting across from her.

Watching.

Why it should 

be this way,

she never 

knew.

He knew,

& 

never told

her.

Well, 

I suppose

that's not really

true,

is it?

But 

I guess 

I'll have to 

get back to 

that

another time.

He would 

tell 

you, 

he knew her

since time

began.

If he 

could speak,

tell you 

what he thought

of 

who,

what,

he was. 

Oh,

he COULD 

speak.

It was finding

a REASON 

that was the 

problem.

You would

think,

after lifetimes

of being in 

this realm,

he would have

found 

a reason to.

Another

creature like

himself,

even.

To say what

he always longed

to say.

To tell them,

that he

wanted to know

when it 

would end.

When the waiting,

the pain,

endless lives

in this place would

somehow make 

sense.

I know,

it doesn't seem 

fair,

does it.

Telling you 

all this,

& 

knowing 

her can't tell

you 

what he REALLY 

thought.

Who he really

was.

But,

that's just the 

way it 

is,

isn't it.

Our stories

come 

from who we

were,

&

not always who we are

now.

Or, 

even,

the other way

around.

We try to

explain 

what we were,

back then,

but can only

tell you

who we see now,

as we

look 

back at who
we

used to  

be, 

now that we've

become something

new. 

That's the challenge,

I suppose.

The REAL

purpose,

I guess.

Of who we want

to be.

That we 

want to be

something better

than 

we were 

before.

So we can

look back

at 

what we once

were,

&

can 

tell ourselves,

tell those

around us,

that we've won.

We've 

conquered.

We 

fought

our own

demons,

&

won.

This is

one 

of those

stories.
Of
someone
who
looked at
what they became,
&
said,
it
was worth
it.