Friday, August 19, 2022

Maybe Someday--Past Lives Series--Angels, Guardians, & SoulMates Series--Recovery & Hopeful Survivors Series

Living my life 

On the bleachers,

Watching from afar 

The moments 

That passed in front of me, 

This is the life I knew.


They tell me 

Most people don't live this way,

That most see 

In simpler terms,

A life lived

Rather than observed.


It's funny 

That sensation 

Still in my chest, 

In my gut,

That startling feeling 

Of panic that hits 

Just thinking of what 

Lies underneath that armor.


Those rooms that used to 

Wait for me in my dreams, 

The sheer disgusted panic 

That waited for me there,

A place that thankfully 

Doesn't haunt me 

Like it did before.


I wondered often 

When I could reach inside of me 

And try to figure out 

What went wrong there, 

What hurt me 

In the quietly tortured

Spaces in my mind.


It's funny isn't it 

The amount of control 

This seemingly minor thing has,

A mind 

A brain 

A simple organism

That occupies so little space,

But makes up so much 

Of what I am.


I resented it 

Back then

When I was younger,

When I was new 

To This World,

And all I could think of 

Was why I had to do it 

All over again.


Why I had to come so far 

To gain so little,

A mere child 

In a body occupied by a mind 

That remembers so much, 

But could do me no good 

Until that right time had come.


That time you might be asking 

Was when the half of me 

That knew too well what waited, 

Was done simply passing the time 

Until the lowly Earthly half of me 

Could finally catch up, 

And do more than 

Be an ever present reminder 

Of how Mortal bound 

I really was.

 

I passed through my life 

As if I was bored already, 

Waiting for my Two Sides 

To become whole 

Resenting the time it took 

For the rest of the This Life 

To take shape.


Some say that those born 

Of Two Halves 

Aren't Sacred at all, 

That it's simply our brains'

Overly complicated processes 

Learning to survive 

What can't be undone.


Still others will tell you 

That it's a luxury

To know The Self in it's entirety

That only few 

Will ever know.


Either way it's a space

Inside the world 

We think we all live in, 

That takes it's toll 

On those who live there.


A price paid 

By the years of knowing 

How much the Soul remembers,

And the ever taxing 

Debt owed to the Earthly shell 

We only temporarily occupy.


We can only hope then 

That the wait 

Is worth the ride, 

The pay off 

Of experience we all endure.


So that someday 

What we all shared here 

In This Lifetime, 

Can be something we offer 

Of ourselves,

So that others won't have to endure 

The same shame 

And broken promises 

We still remember.


Is it worth it 

The pain and the suffering 

That we carry with us, 

As we all look forward 

   To our own version of someday....


I suppose it all depends 

On which day 

And which person you ask. 


I like to think 

What we are is meant to be, 

And

That we can choose 

To be be something more 

Than what we would be otherwise, 

If we had chosen to be 

On the easier Path.


I don't know 

If I'll ever be able to 

Answer that question for sure, 

But 

It's the road I go down 

Each time I cross that fork in the road, 

So that maybe someday 

No one else 

Has 

To.















































 

No comments:

Post a Comment