Only You--Black Series

Color Burst

Across my eyes

My Sky

A pyrotechnic

Swirl.

Your 

Fading Darkness

Resumes

As night

Falls

And 

My Day 

Begins.

The Sounds

Of

My World

Fading 

From view

As 

I

Consume

Only

You.

Set Me Free-Black Series

The Black Shadows

That hide your 

Face.

The Temptation

That Shadows

Mine.

These 

Quite Moments

That steal 

My Dreams

Feed

My Illusions.

You Come To Me

To my Depths

In my 

Barest Form

And

You Encase me.

Like A Creature

Outside of my Shell

I Wait

This

Inevitable Change

Always near. 

For 

Your Mouth 

Upon me

Your Distance 

No more.

I Seek 

Truth

Your Illusions 

Set 

Me Free.

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 4--Hope & Survivors

And so--It seems all Expectation Of Hope becomes Fleeting--A Far Gone Illustion--A Thing Other People Own....

But here's the thing--I was never Made That Way--Defeat made me Angry--Being Brushed Aside made me realize I was Alone--Being Talked Down To & Dismissed only made me Understand it was time to Move On...

But This Particular Kind Of Rejection--This Basest Of Digs--It hits in a Places that literally IS Who You Are. It doesnt matter if it's You or Your Loved One--The Pain & Disillutionment is the Same.

In fact--For Some it's the Ones We Love--Their Pain--Their Hope--Their Beautiful Smiles that make all the Other Shit seem Worth It....It's when we see that smile fade--See that Moment of Reality hit---Know the World doesn't See them the way we do--That Changes Who We Are Permenently....

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 3--Hope & Survivors

And so then, I go on to think of the Moments in my own Experiences with Illness--My own Weakest Moments--& Those of my own Loved Ones, as I stand beside them--& I realise what it looked like on the Outside Looking In... & The sheer Disconnection I felt looking from the Inside Out--Watching Those Who Should Have Championed An Innocent, slowly remove themselves, absolving themselves of Guilt Of Imperfection By Association.

I Remember in vivid, mind numbing techno color, the Looks Of Fear...These are the Looks I remember most--& The Looks Of Consdisention--The Ones that said 'I don't Belive you' You didn't Do it right' 'You didn't Try hard enough'....

' I can't do this with you--I won't'......

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 2--Hope & Survivors

When you look at me, writing here with you--Or a Casual Friend in person or on online--& You say to yourself 'How can they be this sick if they're always online?' 'How "sick"(eye roll) can their Loved One be if I see them acting & looking just fine to me?'.

And so goes the Endless Battles with the Outside World--The World these Warriors must Live & Survive In, outside of their Own Mind--& Their Own Home. 

'How bad can it be? I had that, & I didn't complain this much' 'Not again--This Drama Queen Act has got to stop' .....

'Move on already'.

I imagine, over the years, the people I've know, where I've said these things--When I've looked out from my relatively Healthy Body--& Been blind--My Soul & Mind somehow not comprehending what it can't conceive of--& How they must have felt Shock--Disappointment--Fear--As they realize someone they thought they Knew-Never really Understood them at all....

My Heros-Warriors Of Recovery-Part 1--Hope & Survivors-Chronic Illness-Mental Illness-Trama-PTSD-Recovery-Addiction

Chronic Illness--Mental Illness--Trama--PTSD--Recovery--Addiction.....

These Warriors Of Recovery--These Battles Fought, Sometimes Won, Sometimes Lost-----

THESE are my Heros.

Why? 

Because they fight Silent Killers. Because these Assassins Of The Soul, lay in silence, waiting for a Moment Of Weakness. Prey on the Innocent. Disguise themselves as any Normal Moment--& Cleverly insinuate their way into those Warriors lives....And the most crule of all--They are Masters Of Manipulation--Convincing the People around these Warriors, that they are nothing more than a Passing Traveler--A Passing Phase.

Those People Who Should Go To Battle for these Warriors, are instead led to dismiss what they see. To ignore the Signs. Create False Perceptions of Those Who Are Slowly Losing The Battle.....

Empty Space--Black Series

The Moon 

Is my Sky.

For in it

Lies your Path.

The Traces 

Of you

Streaked across

A Sunless 

Crimson Sky.

The Stars 

Are your 

Eyes

Pierced 

Against 

My

Sight.

The Comets

Your Ego

Fleeting

In it's Path 

To me.

For 

Your Will

Is Ever Mine

A Sea

Of Destiny.

The Seemingly 

Empty Space

Dark 

Matter

They say.

Oh

But 

We both Know

Is always Filled

With You.